I broke up with my ex on fairly good terms 2 years ago. We were together for a year. However, circumstances happened where we would have been forced to live with one another, and I wasn’t ready.
When we broke up, I promised I would come visit him in his new place 5 months later. I didn’t. I found a new boyfriend in that time. He never asked, but he provided me with financial support while I adjusted to my new life.
Finally, exactly 2 years after seeing each other for the last time, we met at his place. I loved every second.
We made plans to meet up again in July. Due to the way that I broke up with him, he was quite dubious I would follow through on the promise.
I broke up with him just days after saying that I would never break up with him. I told him that we would get through the situation.
Then later on, when he was helping me, I promised to call him. I then ignored him for 5 months. I never called.
Anyway, as a way to show he could trust me, I took something of his and said I will return it when I come back in July. I also said I would reach out regularly so that he could build up trust in me again.
The problem is that my boyfriend now, after two years, wants me to have no contact with my ex.
He has made me block my ex on everything, and I have had to delete his phone number. I don’t even know his address.
This is going to send my ex off the deep end, I think. He already suffers from serious trust issues in people (another reason we broke up) and I am unsure as to what to do.
The frustrating thing is that my ex has almost consistently supported me for 2 years in ways my boyfriend never wanted to do.
I knew my ex a long time before we became a couple, and this is me hurting who is essentially my best friend. I’m basically messing him up for other women.
Tl;dr: about to mess up my ex even more and I feel very guilty.
21 comments
Don’t blame your current boyfriend. It sounds like you have been playing with the ex’s emotions for a long while now. Be humane, mail his stuff to him and leave him alone.
Just pay him back the money you borrowed.
Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. And don’t act like your boyfriend made you do anything, because he did not. You chose to do so. You could have chosen otherwise.
You took something of his so he would trust you what? Just seems you keep stringing your ex along with weird promises and.. theft? Give him back whatever is his and cut ties. Not for your bf but for your ex
This is a mess. It’s like you’re dating half of each man to have one fulfilling relationship but the result is just 3 hurt people. Also, quit promising things. Especially big things.
This sounds sadistic af. Why would you spend so long torturing your ex? Or was the break up that bad? 2+ years of it too! Sounds like you’ve more than proven you’re not very trust worthy. Pay him back, mail his shit back, leave him alone.
Return his item and never contact your ex again.
You sound like a pain
What the hell am I reading. They’re both just being played by you and I wish them both the best
Interestingly in your post you talk a lot about ex and current bf( controlling and manipulative) but the real issue seems to be you.
You were waffling, being unpredictable, and are still playing games with your exes feelings. Now you’re involved with some whack job man who’s telling you what you can and can’t do.
Go be single. Mail back what you owe your ex and please just leave him alone because you’re being cruel.
Always be a person of your word. Your bf can go with you to see your ex, but you took something of his and you should return it.
your still in love with your ex, not surprised that your current boyfriend reacted in the way he did.
Either leave your boyfriend or go no contact but give your ex his stuff back. Not my place to say what you should do
You’re really leading both of these people on in a major way. Would you be cool with your bf being best friends with an ex who was still in love with him, and insisting on traveling to visit her without you? And why did you feel the need to work so hard to regain your ex’s trust while dating someone else? Be honest with yourself about how this situation would play out if you actually went to visit him. And let him move on.
You should stop dating people who shouldn’t be in a relationship. If your new bf thinks that you have to sever all ties with any male in your phone, he is a jealous person who really needs to go see a therapist and figure out why he I trying to control you. You definitely should not allow him to do this, he needs to be a grown up and realize that you knew there were beings called “men” before he showed up.
Stop blaming your current bf, this is all your doing. You’re stringing your ex along and are being very shitty to him. Also, nobody can forbid you or make you do something you don’t want to, you’re not a toddler.
I’m sorry, why do you need to reach out regularly and build trust in a relationship with your ex? Your ex can find somebody else that will actually stay by his side, not string him along, and not ignore him for months at a time. You’re “messing him up for other women” (whatever the hell that means) by continuing this toxic relationship. You broke up with him, correct? So stick with that. Let him let go of you. And listen to your partner. Given the fact that he was fine with it before and now he wants you to go no contact, I’m assuming he’s told you it makes him uncomfortable before. It sounds like he was understanding at first, but you pushed his boundaries too far. If you want to save this relationship with your current partner at this point you’ve got to respect his wishes, or leave.
Why are you so invested in your ex? You guys broke up, move on. It’s not a good look for your current bf.
Sorry not sorry, you are a terrible (ex)girlfriend.
This is such a weird situation bc first why are taking your ex stuff… Weird. You are going to either mail his stuff back or give it to him personally. Second why do you want to keep in touch with him he’s your ex for a reason. Plus you left him for you current boyfriend. Third stop making promises you can’t keep and move on
Why on earth would you do this to begin with? You broke up! Why have you been stringing this man along for so long?