Ok this just happened me 15(F/M) but I’m Male trans and mom 40(F). My mom arrived home and she asked me to place my shoes upstairs and I asked her were upstairs and she give me a look of seriously, has if I should have know already and then she said were the soap is and I was confused because honestly I thought she was saying to place in the bathroom or something. And i asked again but were the soap is because there are many different types of soap and in different places in the house but likely upstairs of course but anyways her response was “do you not know were the saop for the laundry is?” with a unimpressed face has if I was stupid and should have known and I said “how was I supposed to know when there are alot of different types of soap and in different places in the house?” and we kinda fought a little and something needed for later i said “why is she putting the blame me and making me as if I’m stupid, when shes the one who only said upstairs and saop” then it continued and stopped. I went upstairs and put the shoes were the Landry soap is and went to my room, but less than 1min maybe she came to my room and I was kinda tearing up because she made feel stupid has if I was supposed know what she wanted when all she said was upstairs and soap. But anyway when she entered my room and she said she wanted to speak about what just happened and everything that just happened above happened again but this time me a crying mess with a snotty nose and not happy at all then she started talking about how she will be more SPECIFIC on what she SAYS to ME in th future she always says that because similar things like this had happened and then she started talking about that she didn’t mean to make think that I was thinking that she was saying im stupid and I said “will thats because you were and I bet anyone else may agree with me as will” I may be the Asshole for that but sh also then started talking about how she’s a mother a woman and she human then saying stop thinking me as a woman and a mother and that’s she human and she’s not perfect which she right and she wanted to give me hug as a way to apologize but I said that’s a way she thinks she forgiven so I refused to hug her she would always do this to me whenever she made me cry over dumb stuff like The time she started to raise her voice to were to a point i started to cry, about a chapstick on the carpet in my room without a lid which I admit shouldn’t have but she kept saying that the oil will harm the carpet and all I did was correct her that there is no oil but still picked it up and she said she knows what there and I do not but I cried there and she wanted to hug me but I refused at first then she said fine then I will no longer hug you again and I cried more then huge her but this getting long ill stop here.
2 comments
Standard teenage discussions. You need to apologize and move on.
This reads a lot like you are being obtuse and/or weaponizing incompetence.
I understand that being asked to bring shoes upstairs may be a bit confusing if it’s not standard, but there is context and habits to make it clear. Your mom asked you to bring shoes upstairs, you can deduce a few reasons based on the condition of the shoes, the amount of shoes around the entrance, or by previous conversation. When she said to the soap, that is your cue to understand that the shoes need to be cleaned, and where are the shoes cleaned? Probably the laundry room.
Obviously, that isn’t exact for everything and not everything is shoes. But, your post is a mountain out of a mole hill. It’s totally normal to be all rage and sadness and confused with growing up and hormones. But meltdowns should not be a go to reaction, you should have some semblance of control most of the time.
Even reading this was a rambling mess. You say too little with too many words. You are not being clear because of it. And if this is a reflection of how home life is, I’m sure taking a breath and relaxing will help communication.
To finalize, use your own mind to solve plain issues and don’t cry in response to someone not wanting to help (with what they think is obvious and easy). If you cannot solve it by breaking down the situation step by step, ask in a calm and clear manner. If both options 1 & 2 don’t work, then do what you can and leave the rest to be figured out later (ie, bring the shoes upstairs & leave them in plain view).