I guess I’m asking how to feel less ashamed of having no social life. I feel so defensive inside whenever people ask me about my plans because I HAVE NONE.
I’m in my early 20s as well as my other coworkers and my social life is vastly different to theirs. Also, I’m already an extremely private person and don’t like talking about myself to them anyway.
But how do I respond to this question when they ask me? I can already sense they know I’m a fucking loser and I wish I didn’t feel so weird about this.
23 comments
Chill, OP, you’re not a loser, you just keep to yourself. If you want to brighten your social life see if there are nearby events at meetup.com it’s a place where you connect with social groups and do activities together.
If you want to keep being isolated then say, “I like to do things spontaneously so I like to keep my options open.”
What makes you think that you’re on the wrong with having no plans? It’s just weekend, nothing special.
It’s okay to do nothing.
You could say : no i dont have any plans do you wanna hang out
just make up. I do this and nobody knows
Just respond with something like, “just errands, what about you?” and let them do the talking with occasional opinion from you.
Just say you’re going vacuum cleaning.
It’s okay to not have any plans. Sometimes I say, “catch up on rest and just relax” with enthusiastic. I’ve found that when people ask this, they are making conversation and are usually excited to share what they are up to. Maybe they have tickets to an amazing show or are going on a road trip and they are just excited about it. Turning the question back on them is a great way to feel less self conscious. And btw I have no plans this weekend and I can’t wait 🙂
You can always make something up or talk about a book youre reading. You’re not on the witness stand, you can get creative. At some point you might come up with a lie so fun sounding that you actually do it.
It’s just idle chat. I don’t think they’re trying to probe into your social life.
My plans this weekend are to clean the house and watch Stranger Things. I may go for a hike, not sure yet. If I get really ambitious, I may pull some weeds.
I think you are way overthinking this… just like the other comments are explaining, not everyone has plans but its cool to talk about them if you do. If you have nothing planned just say:
“I’m not sure yet! I’ll have to see what comes up”
“Nothing solidly planned yet but I think I’d like to relax at home this time”
“Haha I have no idea, I usually don’t plan that far ahead”
Just keep it light, no one asking this question is expecting an essay or anything interesting, it’s a pretty common conversation filler too, like saying ‘how are you?’ when you greet someone, they expect a little answer but nothing long unless its really worth mentioning
maybe tell them about your home projects, like cleaning, or cooking something special, or watching something interesting, or doing a DIY craft. I hate going out honestly and usually end up just talking about what I do around the house which most people totally understand because we all have to do stuff around the house.
People who invite me out sometimes. Once in a blue moon I go, but usually I just tell them I’m staying at home, sleeping in, and taking care of myself. Feel free to call if you need anything. Easy, simple, and everyone can appreciate it.
It is important that you do, once in a while, accept invitations from people if you want to be friends with them though.
You can say you’re ‘trying to be more spontaneous to see where it takes you.’ That way your plan is basically nothing except going with the flow—nuggets of truth and pretty much endless potential for what could happen.
Usually they ask because they have something they want to share. There’s nothing wrong with not doing anything and also there is nothing wrong with just saying I don’t have any plans as of yet
What if…. they’re trying to see if you’re free for the weekend?
Just chilling.
You can make literally anything sound like a plan.
Part of my plans for this weekend is playing the new TFT patch with my buddy.
I literally just tell people things like cleaning, video games, groceries, meal prepping, sleeping, etc. I z know some people I work with find me boring or whatever, but like we don’t hang out anyway so what do I care? I work like 50 hours a week and sometimes I just want to do nothing. There’s nothing wrong with relaxing, not having concrete plans, or just staying in and doing what you feel like- what you do in your free time should make you happy and comfortable, not somebody else.
Whatever you do just don’t lie. That looks way worse than saying you don’t really have any plans. I’m still in online college so I can use that as an excuse, as well as catching up on errands I couldn’t do during the week.
They probably are just trying to make conversation. Honestly if you really have nothing going on they probably dont give you a second thought.
Be genuine and upfront about it. Present yourself as you really are and not as you think you should act. And since you are on the private side of things, when they ask say, “unspoken.” Even the rhetorical, “who knows” could work. Maybe ask a question back, “why do you ask?”
Don’t view that kind of small talk as a burden. Its one of the easiest conversation starters and it can be a great way to inadvertantly find out if people have similar interests to you. Say that you’re gonna be reading a book, or that you have chores to do etc, then ask them the question in return cause there’s a good chance they have something they’re excited about and want to bring up organically in conversation.
“I’m probably going to relax and try to knock out some errands. What about you?”