I (30F) started seeing someone (32m) about a month ago. We met online and went on a date that went well. We clicked instantly and confessed we were really into each other. He slept over a few times before we had sex. We stayed up all night chatting about intense life things and cuddling. He joined me to some events with friends, dinners, I made him dinner one night at my apt. He told me a few times how attracted he was to me. It was going well. I asked him where he was at and he said he felt more than just friends with benefits but doesn’t want to rush into anything.
I’m very extroverted and bubbly and he’s more reserved and shy. He’s in law school so we stopped seeing each other before his finals. We would still text, and he would make a point to check on me each day asking questions.
I am new to dating someone so busy/ focused so it was challenging to figure out when he wanted to be coaxed out for a study break or when he really wanted to stay in. So looking back it seems like I came off too strong trying to get him to hang. He still chatted and mentioned he *wanted* to hang but he really needed to focus since he took time off to spend with me for those 2 weeks. Once he would say no I def backed off and was understanding.
One day though I got in an argument with a friend and I was messaging him about it. He went kind of cold on me which I called him out for. After that we barely spoke because I thought it was trivial to disrupt his studying by figuring out this miscommunication. Ultimately he felt like leaning on him was too much and he wasn’t ready for that which is why he went cold.
After that he started backing off and when I confronted him he said he wasn’t sure how to feel about the day of the argument and feels like he should just float into summer (he’s going back home across the country for 2 months). He said he couldn’t be anymore than friends and I said that was fine I’m happy to be friends. Which is true for the summer but I would be interested in catching up when he’s back if it works out.
Anyway.I decided to back off a bit because clearly he was drawing a boundary. He liked my selfie and messaged me about something that reminding him of me. I responded and he didn’t relpy.
Is he bread crumbing me? Or just confused? Should I be answering him?
1 comment
He said he wanted to be friends and you agreed, so now he’s doing friendly stuff. If you want more than that, he isn’t going to give it to you. I don’t see why you would wait a whole summer on him to figure out if he wants you or not after the summer. Time to move on and make space for someone else.