1. I’m not sure if I’m ready to handle a relationship where I have to comfort another person. I have a lot of things going on and I find myself getting exhausted having to help someone else. I obviously love him and don’t want him to feel bad so I want to talk to him, I just don’t know if I can do that right now.
2. He’s a little unstable. I feel like I process my thoughts more and don’t just blurt out the things that come to mind. He doesn’t… and that ends up with me being hurt by the things he’s not thought about.
TLDR: feeling less emotionally comforted after starting a relationship. Not sure if it’s him or me or what I should say to him.
2 comments
If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 37 years, it’s to pay attention to how people make me feel. Life’s too short for a partnership that makes you feel exhausted and drained. You need to protect yourself, put your mental health first. Sometimes that means ending a relationship. Sometimes it can be solved with some boundary setting (for example if there are certain topics that upset/exhaust you, maybe ask him to seek comfort elsewhere for those things) and discussion.
I don’t really know the specifics, but you’re not a bad person for prioritizing your happiness and fulfillment in a relationship. Obviously partnerships might take some compromise, and you may want to be patient if he’s just going through some stuff but it’s likely to get better.
It doesn’t matter if it’s you or him. Relationships, especially in early stages, should add to your joy, never take away from it. If this relationship doesn’t serve you, leave.