I take a lot of pride in my work. It gives me a lot of confidence and meaning in my life. I’m very good with theory and abstract thinking and I have a lot of education and experience.
However, no one knows what I do because it’s super niche… the worst thing about it is that my job gets mistaken for a different kind of work that requires no education and minimal training.
To protect my anonymity and to also make it more clear, I’m going to use a more common example (this is not actually my job) to express my frustration.
So, say for example that I’m a mechanical engineer designing Formula 1 car engines, but for whatever reason, no one knows about this job… Nobody has ever heard of a “mechanical engineer”, and no one even knows that those engines have to be designed by somebody… but everyone has heard of a “mechanic”.
So option 1 is to just tell people what you really are… a mechanical engineer. The thing is that no one really cares that much about what you do. Also, you’re going to have to sit there for 10 minutes trying to explain a job that no one has a a clue about. You’ll come off as being self-absorbed because you’re choosing not to explain it in a way that’s easy for them to understand.
Option 2 is telling them you’re a mechanic just to move the conversation along and not focus on yourself so much, but you downgrade your work just for the sake of others. This is where they tell you that their son is also a mechanic and works at an oil change shop for a summer job. You get pissed off because you just finished submitting a paper about a novel scientific mechanism that can be used in an engine design, but they think you’re a blue-collar worker and ask you what you think about the waitress’ tits.
Keep in mind that I try to be a down to earth guy and I don’t want to brag about what I do, but also, I think my job helps people see who I am as a person. For example, if someone tells you that they’re a physicist, you already have an idea that they were probably good in school and also are a creative and intelligent type.
What would you all do in this situation? Tell people what you really do at the risk of talking for 10 minutes and coming off as being self-important? Or misdescribe what you do for the benefit of everyone else, but also completely cut down your work to the point where it’s a job that you would never do in the first place because it doesn’t fit with your skillset and personality at all?
5 comments
Why don’t you just tell us what your job is. Jesus Christ
I’d tell them the real job without going into the details that come off as pretentious (ie submitting the paper where each word you use, you’ll have to define it for them). I know you’re using an example, but you can say the mechanical engineer part where you give the layperson definition of what it is: designing formula 1 car engines. People in the medical field do this every day when they use different terminology so patients understand vs what the actual procedures and tests are and why they’re important and throwing in what research they’ve contributed to, etc etc. Figure out your laypeople terms so you can give others a sentence-long explanation. If it interests them, they’ll ask further details.
Don’t lie and say you’re a “mechanic,” be vague and say you “work on cars in the design stage”.
it’s not cool to lie. It’s okay to oversimplify and be a little vague.
A better strategy is to reject the “what do you do for a living” part of American socializing and pivot to talking about what you love to do outside of work, and ask the other person the same thing.
Plenty of people aren’t proud of their boring-ass jobs. No one’s bragging “I box cereal ” and no one sane and normal is bragging “I’m a prison guard.” These people probably mention their industry (food manufacturing, corrections) and go on to talk about what their jobs enable them to do. Raise their kids, go boating over the summer, whatever.
Jobs are boring for the majority of people dude. But don’t lie because you think people are too dumb to understand. Just be vague and move on.
If it’s obscurely labelled, I’d just allude to it in general terms and what it means to me.
Haha I can relate to this because I don’t think I’ve ever had a job that could be explained in less than 10 minutes. I’ve found that it’s best to do some combination of the following in a sentence or two: 1) explaining where you work, 2) explaining what work you do, and/or 3) giving a comparable job title.
For example, when asked about my current job, which is actually like three different jobs, I’ll usually just say that “I do data analytics at [well known company]”. If the person asks I can share more info.
In the past when I worked for a startup and didn’t have an intuitive job title I may have said “I’m a data scientist at a tech start up”.
These explanations aren’t 100% accurate but they get the point across within the socially acceptable time limit. Most of the time, people don’t really care about it and will just move on. If they’re genuinely interested then I can properly explain without coming off as self-important.