So I (28F) am still *technically* enrolled as I’m pursing a PhD and need a couple extra credits, but really my life is split between a part time job as a database manager / software developer and the occasional Pathfinder game. And I am miserable.
I have very little to no real life friends I see regularly. I spend the vast majority of my evenings alone – with entire days by myself. I feel really lonely. Yet I don’t know what to do or where to meet people. I used to go to the local table-top association but after getting creeped on there multiple times I don’t know where else to go. I’m desperate for any real life interaction and I feel I’m too much of a weirdo to fit in anywhere.
Does anyone have any tips? :/ I don’t want to go at length about myself in the post but if y’all want to know more I can open up about it – especially if it helps with giving me advice.
2 comments
I’m honestly just here to see what advice people give because I feel this. Don’t mind me..
Face your fears and genuinely connect with people you see in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what they say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.