How do you make big life decisions?

14 comments

1. You can only do your best when it comes to anything big. You’ll never make all the right choices, life is filled with imponderables. You can become frozen with fear and doubt if you try to account for everything that may go wrong and even then there will be things you could never have imagined good and bad that will occur. Look at best and worst case scenarios and try to think how you’d be able to deal with them. You’ll know if a choice is right fairly early on with most things.

2. Talk to people you trust to be honest to your face.

   Write down the pros and cons – sounds basic, but sometimes you need to step back and look at the whole picture on a piece of paper.

3. Get a coin and flip it. If you don’t like the decision then flip it 2 more times.

4. Listen to your parents they know some shit really.

   Failing that read about Kepner Tregoedecision analysis techniques. Boring

   Follow your heart and take a chance like me. You never know what’s coming next. Note..chance things may go down as well as up lol
   Note to self – save something for the future next time. The future has turned up.

   Talk about it with whom it most concerns.

   Dont stick head in sand and ignore shit it doesn’t go away.

   Another note to self = listen to self also

5. No one can tell you how to live your life, you are the only one who can decide. A bad neighborhood/job for some could be perfect for you. My advice would be to start thinking about how would you like to live? What do you value? If you can answer those questions you are going to be able to make big life decisions if you don’t. Know thyself

6. Flip a coin

7. I go through them with my husband and parents. It’s how I achieve goals.

8. It’s much easier to make decisions if you have a values rubric to work with. Rather than setting yourself specific goals, think about what you want your life to be about. There are going to be multiple different ways to achieve that, whereas setting a goal like “buy a house” narrows your life choices. Instead, think about what’s important to you.

   For example, my guiding principles are helping others and making a positive difference, always challenging myself to grow, and having a stable/drama-free life (I had a tumultuous and abusive childhood and I know that’s the last thing I want). Those values have helped me decide things like what job/career to work towards, what I do in my spare time, what hobbies to take up, what my relationships are like. Buying a house and living in a low crime area fulfills my value of stability. Working for a non-profit and regular volunteering commitments means I am making a positive difference. Learning a new skill through having new hobbies (right now I’m learning sewing/dress making!) keeps me always challenging myself.

   You might value other things that are very different to me, and therefore the decisions you make might be different (or at least motivated by different things). Maybe you value variety and having a range of experiences, so you’re drawn to traveling and backpacking. Maybe you value being highly successful so you pursue certain kinds of high powered careers. You might value strong bonds with others so you seek out meaningful relationships or starting a family.

9. Make a decision when really drunk (write the decision down, record it, whatever you are capable of doing). In the morning see if you agree with your drunken choice, if you disagree go with the opposite and vice versa.

10. I’ve mostly made spur of the moment decisions on gut instinct.

    It’s worked pretty well for me overall, but it’s probably not a percentage strategy!

11. If I can’t decide on making a big decision, I always tell myself that the worst thing you can do is stand still.

12. Part of it for me is thinking about the potential repercussions. If I move city for a new job and hate something about it, what’s the worst that can happen? Liable for rent for a year, have to suck it up and do the job so I can pay the rent until moving back?
    Slightly bigger consequences if I buy a house and want to get out of it 6months later – early termination fee on the mortgage would be thousands, legal costs, moving costs etc are all very, very unlikely the be covered by any equity so you’ll likely end up losing a significant chunk of your original deposit once all is settled.

    Agree with the above poster about a simple pros vs cons list, it can be a great way to visualise the split and see which way you lean.

13. Get blind drunk. /s

14. This may sound sarcastic or unworkable, but “be young”!

    As other commenters have mentioned, there’s rarely such a thing as the “right” decision, but youth is associated with hope, together with the knowledge that if you made a choice that was disastrous then you have the time and mental energy to alter your track.

    When you get to your 50s, making huge decisions becomes wearisome. One tends to adapt and accept things rather than change them.