We are in a relationship for 6 months and for that time I’ve felt that there were times where I couldn’t speak or act or discuss something because he’d do a big scene, make it all about himself and force me to say sorry for what I felt.
We were recently in a party with his friends who I’ve met and befriended. He started drinking and dancing around with everyone, while I decided to stay in a place with my drink and just talking to people. He came to me and asked me if I wanted anything and I just asked him if he could just stay with me for a minute. He took that in a sense that I was controlling him and tethering him to me and that he couldn’t have fun with friends he hasn’t seen in years. I was speechless… I didn’t say anything other than “just stay here with me for a minute” and suddenly he became grumpy and made a whole thing about I disrespected him and his feelings. I tried to tell him that he must have misunderstood, that I only wanted a bit of his company, but he basically forced me into saying sorry to him and everyone in the party, otherwise he wouldn’t party anymore or even leave.
He made a point that we are constantly together and that I shouldn’t be so needy, and I didn’t touch on that, but between my job, his job, sleeping time, parties and group dinners and a trip he made recently with his best friend, I feel we don’t have quality time together and now I’m even afraid to ask to talk…
I really appreciate advice and if I’m being the asshole, please tell me
1 comment
There’s definitely a communication issue.
What is it that he is looking for out of this relationship? Have you two discussed if this is a serious thing or something casual? That could be a part of why he responds the way he does. It seems that he is misinterpreting the things you say and getting very defensive. He definitely shouldn’t be forcing you to say sorry about how you are feeling. If you are expressing yourself, he should be willing to listen just as you would listen to his feelings.
Have you two ever tried therapy?