8 – 9 months ago I moved in with a friend of mine who had purchased a small house. I am the type of person that would love to live and have my own place but right now the market in my area is crazy and rental prices are extremely high. A couple months ago my roommate started dating this girl. Things seemed to move very quickly and it seems like she is over all the damn time. They are always in the living room and if they arnt in the living room they are probably in his room doing sexy time. It is not uncommon to faintly hear her moaning through my wall. I would really like to chat with him about it but am also wondering if that is okay as it is technically his house.
She is over probably 3-4 nights a week anymore. I also just found out several days ago that she is literally moving into a place like 4 blocks away (FML). I just dont understand why they cant or dont spend time at her place. He also got a puppy recently so part of me thinks he doesnt go over to her place because it doesnt allow dogs and he doesnt want to leave the puppy alone. I would rather have her over than a dog that I dont really care for whining and me having to watch it. Am I being petty or is this something reasonable to bring up with him? If I do bring it up what is the best way to go about it without it being really awkward or making him annoyed?
30 comments
Sorry bro its his house
If you pay him rent then you can mention that she should probably be a little be quieter
His house, his rules.
Yeah you’ll just need to suck it up and deal with her and the puppy’s presence. Or, move out. Ultimately it’s your friend’s house and he should be able to live in it how he feels. If you were both renting from a third party then I would agree that you should discuss guests and pets, but in this situation I feel you either have to accept it or find a situation that better suits your desires.
This sounds like you might have just picked an incompatible roommate.
If I was renting a room to a friend, I’d be understanding about their requests towards noise levels and pet care (especially if it’s my pet).
However, I’d probably draw the line at who I invite over and how often I do.
Are you paying rent? What are the terms of the rental agreement?
It’s his house. I’d suggest moving out.
His house, his rules and how it’s being done.
You can give your concern or complaints to him, but it’s ultimately up to him how he decides what to do after. You can suggest an alternate with him and see if he would be willing to do that where you’ll take care of the puppy and he can chill at his girl’s place instead but if he doesn’t agree with it then that’s on him and you would have to choose to stay or leave
You’re not roommates, you’re his tenant.
Probably want to mention it, especially if he’s using you as a dogsitter and his girlfriend is being a bit invasive but he’s free not to actually change anything.
His house his rules. He did you a solid by letting you live there, don’t presume to tell him much of anything under his roof.
Are you for real? It’s his house.
If you don’t like it, move out. Asking the guy who owns the home you rent a room in to not invite his girlfriend over as frequently is it to put it simply, ridiculous.
You’re a tenant in his place; he gets the say
If you have a legitimate gripe bring it up; but if it’s just “she’s there” then not much to go on
It’s his house he can have whoever he wants over
You can mention but it’s his house and his rules.
Might want to start looking for a new place. This is why i dont have roommates.
They’re probably gonna ask you to leave soon
Yes, it is. His house, his rules.
If you don’t like it, you can move out.
Well I guess it depends on what your specific beef is. Is it that utilities are going up? If it’s literally just the time that she spends there I don’t think you have any recourse. I’m assuming this was an informal agreement ie no lease?
What is he charging you? How does that compare to the monthly housing expenses? Are you splitting the mortgage, prop taxes and homeowners insurance? If not then he’s giving you an under market deal. If that’s the case I don’t see how you have any recourse.
Is the girlfriend inconsiderate or something like that? Because if that’s he case you might be able to bring that up but bitching because his girlfriend is over a lot will just piss him off and possibly cause him to want to terminate this arrangement. If you have no lease then you’d only have I think 30 days to vacate.
He’s the landlord. he can change the rules and regulations (pets, girlfriends, lawnmowing duty, telling you you’re not keeping the place clean enough, etc) of his property at any time. Its a dictatorship, not a democracy. He can also issue a 90(?) day notice of eviction to you, or a 90 day notice of rent increase till you’re forced to move out. (thats legal in most places, too.) In some places, landlords have more power, in other places they have less power. You should be walking on eggshells dude.
I would **never** live in the same house as the landlord. Because you have no one to complain to if there’s a dispute. If you make this guy angry, he can make your life a twisting abyss in a heartbeat.
Move out, this is a fight you won’t win.
Dont bite the hand that feeds you. He’s king of the house. If you dont like it then leave. Also fyi they’re probably trying to figure out how to get rid of you anyways
Time to start looking for some new digs. If this continue progressing between those two you’re going to find yourself looking for a new place anyway.
Get your own place dickhead. Not his fault you’re jealous because girls don’t like you.
Ah, the perks of owning your house
The general consensus is that it is his house his rules. Thank you for taking the time to offer some feedback. I have not lived with many roommates so just not sure on the rules of this whole thing. I really just need to see what I can do to move out on my own.
I think the best you can do is go to your room for private time. If you can add something to your room to make you like it more like a tv or a mini fridge that could be how you deal with it.
Her moving closer is a big positive for you imo
If you’re paying rent, it’s not only his house. Even if you aren’t, part of letting someone in your home is the expectation that you will not behave in an egregiously rude manner, homeowner or not (same way you’re not complaining about every little thing you don’t like). As for the dog, it’s not your responsibility and you simply don’t accept any with it. Nip that in the bud early and it shouldn’t be an issue.
Do you contribute financially to the upkeep of the house?
Sounds like you need to get a gf yourself.
You rented a room, not his life.
You should get ANC headphones or move out. Imagine if the roles were reversed, you’d come here and complain he’s a prick.