(I’m 24 f my friend is 23 m, been friends for about 6 years)
I’m very close to my friend and I rely on him a lot due to my severe anxiety and panic disorder. He’s one of my comfort people, i just feel better when he’s around.
I know he has feelings for me, and i think a part of me has feelings for him too. I care about him and I think he’s cute and funny. He’s my best friend.
We tried dating but i was suddenly very uncomfortable with the intimacy. I didn’t like the feeling of him wanting me in a sexual way, it kinda made me feel bad. And i think it’s because of that that i had to call it off. i just wasn’t into it. i felt off and wrong. So we went back to being friends.
(I have a history of getting spooked or getting the ick when physical touch is expected of me.)
But I miss that subtle closeness you get when you’re just a bit more than friends. I hate going to sleep without him in a call with me, but I know there needs to be boundaries if we are not dating. I don’t know. I get so confused. He’s amazing for still even being able to be friends with me tbh.
tldr: Why do I feel like I want to be with my friend when I know it will overwhelm me, and I won’t want to be together as soon as there’s a label on it? We tried dating and I was very uncomfortable and got the ick. Is there even anything I can do about this?
2 comments
Honestly this is kinda cruel. If you know he wants more and you don’t then let the man go. I get that you feel like you need him but if he’s hoping for more and you know it then you’re honestly taking advantage of that. Build a different support system and don’t mix it up with intimacy. He will never be able to build an honest relationship with someone else as long as you have him on the hook. Don’t be selfish with him just because you feel like you need him. You tried out dating and you didn’t want what that meant so let him go.
It sounds toxic. You rely on him, are all over him for attention, but then reject him. I would work on other ways to cope with your anxiety to be frank. You shouldn’t be that dependent anyway.