Me 22 F and my husband 24 M got married last year. We met and started dating and COVID hit 2 months after. When we met we were both in good shape, him having lost 100 pounds and me losing around 15 due to anxiety and depression before we met. In the time span of 2 years we have both gained a considerable amount of weight. I’ve gained 45 pounds and he’s gained 100. I know I’m not ugh lot but weight has been an issue for me all of my life, I was able to make a business 0-6 figures but not lose the weight. This has thrown huge problem in our relationship, to the point our sex life which was incredible in the beginning of our relationship to about nothing. Things have gotten a little better but due to stress we’ve both kind of been focusing on different things. I have recently lost my business that was making over 30k a month and am a stay at home with 0 income 0 savings and about 12k in debt. My husband has been taking care of almost everything while dealing with my mental decline, depression, and anxiety. To say the least we’re struggling both mentally and financially due to my business investment not going how we thought which has caused be a great deal of embarrassment, financial heartache, and stress on my husband and I. Our weight gain as been a huge issue especially on his end. I understand that everyone has a preference but he makes “jokes” and “comments” that really hurt me and it comes to effortlessly for him. He does it so much that I need to force myself to make comments about him to hurt him back because I never comment on his weight gain since he’s carrying the weight of my financial stupidity. We’ll be on tiktok or watching something and he’ll see a girl who has an identical body as me or even smaller and he’ll make comments like “that’s too much bro” “she would look so much better skinner” “being fat is a disease” he hates fatness. He always makes sure to comment on girls with “gigantic tits” since that’s the only thing that’s not huge on my body. And I know he hates himself for letting himself gain the weight back but what he hates more is having a “fat wife.” I’m really struggling right now and I can’t even get myself to the gym. I don’t eat much these days due to my anxiety and it seems he’s only at peace when he sees me going to the gym. I feel guilty for making a bad business investment and losing my 50k in savings and losing the business and having him carry the weight of all of our issues so I let him make his comments. I know he’s angry with me for not only ruining us financially but also having a fat wife. His mental health isn’t doing any better than mine and I know losing weight and getting a financially stable again will fix almost everything but due to my mental health i sleep around 4 am I get out of bed at 2 pm these days. It’s been hard. I feel bad for not being able to do the things I used to for him since now I’m living off of my credit cards. Any advice will be appreciated.
N
7 comments
Lol he gains over twice the weight you did but hates on you for it? Insecure little bitch
I think you need to get a job and maybe consider a separation or something. Your husband is being mean to you. Your business failed, that happens all the time, it doesn’t make you stupid.
these kinda posts make me *never* want to get married
i would tell u to dump that hypocritical insecure narcissist sexist piece of shit, but u gotta get that bag (or let him get it so u can survive). so maybe just try small lifestyle changes for YOU (daily 15min nature walks turned into daily 5 mile hikes for me🥰) rather than focusing on the weights and pounds. and maybe a good therapist too to help u survive him or help u get on ur feet financially so u can leave
You don’t want to give up on the marriage, so work for it. It’s going to take a lot of work. Exercise together. You want to lose weight, not maintain, so you really need to push yourself harder than you ever have. Most of losing weight is dieting. You both need to re-evaluate what you’re eating and not keep those unhealthy fattening foods in the house. You lose weight together, not just you.
Get a job. Doesn’t matter how low paying, something is better than nothing. Even a low wage, if you’re working hard 40 hours a week, will help relieve the financial pressure and he won’t view you as being lazy at home while he’s working all the time. You could get a job at a grocery store or fast food place if you really wanted. Don’t feel like it’s beneath you. A bottom rung job done right can lead to being the branch/district manager someday, you never know.
Losing weight and improving your financial situation are *not* going to fix your main problem, which is that you’re married to someone who thinks it’s okay to make cruel comments to you. Even if it’s rooted in his own insecurity, it’s unacceptable.
Personally, the body comments would be an instant dealbreaker for me. But, if you really want to salvage the relationship, you need to be direct with him that (a) the body comments need to stop immediately, and (b) he needs to go to therapy to learn to deal with his own body image issues and not take them out on you. And I’d be prepared to leave if he doesn’t follow through.
1-1= 2
Their fat = your fat
Its elementary math equation
Get your big ass moving and go to gym
Well you married a kid and being a kid yourself, no wonder he is an immature jerk.