Like for most I can just say “oh I’m just tired” but some people try cheering you up or what to know how you’re doing… and I feel its a catch 22, where as I can treat them like everyone else and lie (when I’m struggling) or I can tell them and share (which I think feels like I’m having them ‘play therapist’).
Yeah……
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You sound like you’re “avoidant” in the way you deal with things. Which is fine, so long as you can make it work with people around you. You’re perfectly OK to tell someone you don’t feel great, but you’d rather not talk about it right now. But saying “Oh I’m just tired” all the time probably isn’t a good idea – the people who know you will know something is up, and might feel anxious about the way you’re feeling, or shut out and kept at a distance… which it sort of sounds like something you’re used to doing. But it takes practice and small steps to learn how to trust people to not overstep boundaries, so you’re completely within your rights to ask to go at your own pace.
I’m a little confused by the grammar in the title.. could you elaborate a little better?
It’s usually the bad headspace that makes me annoyed at someone who might care.
/u/TheArcaninetales no disrespect or insult is intended, but it is hard to understand what you are asking with the odd choice of words and the order of those words in your post.
Are you asking is it normal to feel uncomfortable when you don’t want to talk about what is on your mind, but someone keeps trying to find out what is bothering you?
When I’m in the weeds, like let’s just say this morning I found out the company I work for was sold and I might lose my job, if I decided to go out with friends after work to watch a basketball game I’d really need that time to be as normal as possible, so I’d kind of take control of things and clearly communicate that’s what I need.
Hey, I just found out my job is up in the air, we were bought out, and I might have a job in a year or I might not. It’s out of my control, and I’m obviously bummed and worried, but I just want to get that out of the way so we can enjoy the game like normal.
So I guess I’m saying you can control the situation. If you want to talk, you just need someone to listen, just say that. If you need normal, you can say that too.
you cannot help how you feel. so it is best to figure out what to do with that feeling .
you also cannot control how they feel knowing what they know. Either they will validate or invalidate your feeling. In any case, it is safe to say, you should share things with people only you trust. who will help you grow and support you.
So the answer is `No` . you should not feel bad when someone can feel you out.
This will give you an window into their soul so use it at your advantage and figure out if you want them in your life.
To summarize: you feel angry at other people, when people know and care about you enough to know you are in a bad place.
That is a symptom, my man. Does it sound like the way you would choose to be?
I’m not a big fan of people being in my business.
But on the other hand, if people are that solicitous of your mental state, maybe you should pay attention to that. They might see something you don’t.
Vulerability is a lot cooler than it used to be. If you got friends and you got problems, they’d probably listen and help vs trying to do the ‘old school’ shuttup and don’t be a baby.
Yes, it’s totally normal. When someone knows details about your personal life and what you’re struggling with emotionally, you are in a position of vulnerability with them. We have a natural self-protective impulse to be careful about who we’re vulnerable towards so that we don’t get hurt by someone who would use that against us.
At the same time, it’s vital to be aware of that impulse and then choose whether or not we let it control our behavior. It’s important to not be vulnerable to people that we can’t trust and who will hurt us. But it’s *incredibly* important to be vulnerable to people who do care for us and want to help. Without vulnerability—without showing someone who you actually are—you can’t have the deep connection and emotional support that social animals like humans need to thrive. We are not a solitary species. You’ll never feel great unless you let someone in.