Hi, I started escorting when the pandemic hit in order to make ends meet. I’d just recovered from Covid, was knee deep in debt, was working a really shitty job that would only expose me to further infection and as an immigrant who moved here alone I was facing possible deportation. My friend introduced me to sex work as a way out. I worked for 6 months until I decided I didn’t want to do it anymore, I got a regular job and have been doing that for a year now. I come from a very strong religious background and have strict but loving parents and siblings. My biggest fear is of my family finding out about my past. It has gotten to the extent that I’m scared to be in social gatherings no matter how small for fear of being recognized and word somehow spreading to my family. I could really use some advice, former escorts or anyone….how do I handle being recognized? How do I forgive myself? What if I meet a guy I wanna be serious with? How do I build a new life for myself?
6 comments
Unless you’re been online the long and short is moving.
However if you don’t or if that’s not an option I’m gonna have to assume most of your encounters were in low light anyway also no one is gonna be like “O shit it’s you, you did that one thing that one time I’ll never forget” so just act cool.
Unfortunately the answer you’re looking for doesn’t exist. Only you forgive yourself but know that society will always judge you for your past because actions have consequences and that’s never gonna go away. You’re gonna have to find a way to reconcile your past and live with it.
I lot depends upon how much exposure you had. Did you advertise with clear face pics in escort websites? Is your town a big place? Did you hang out in areas then that are the same areas that you meet people in now?
The past is the past and you need to move forward. If someone claims to recognize you, you could, perhaps, lie that you only met clients for dinner dates, no sex. In any case, don’t dwell on it. Think of a few prepared things to say and move on.
Mutually Assured Destruction
Your clients aren’t any more likely to want others to know than you are.
No easy answers in this.
First, being recognized will always be a possibility. Your just going to have to accept that.
Second, you did what you felt was right at the time. Do not judge yourself too harshly.
Third, most important, be honest with any guy you plan on getting serious with. You do not want them to think you lied about your past.
Lastly, as everyone else just keep moving one day at a time. You really weren’t in the business for an extended period so depending on how much exposure you had, it’s unlikely many will recognize you but it will be a possibility.
Honestly, coming from someone who has engaged with a number of sex workers…. nobody is going to know. Unless you did online sex work using your real name in which case there are still things you can do to remove your online presence.
Just forget it ever happened and honestly the world will forget too.
You did what you had to, to survive don’t feel bad about it.