Hi, me (23m) and my so (22f) have been together for roughly 3 years. We’re in a moderately-long distance (neighboring countries) relationship where we only get to see each-other for a weekend every few weeks due to non-aligning university schedules. For the past ~8 months i’ve caught myself occasionally thinking of breaking up the relationship and thinking of other partners as a way to get a fresh start and maybe find someone who has more similar interests. I feel really conflicted about this though due to my partner being the kindest girl i’ve met honestly ever. But the distance in the relationship has been really creeping up to me over the years. While i do honestly do still love her i still find myself missing a partner who’s easier to spend time with day-to-day (not having to plan weekends in advance) and has the same active interests as i do. I don’t really know how to address the situation with her without crushing her emotionally as i don’t think she is as affected by the distance as much, but i don’t want to blindside her with this. I dont really know how to approach her about this and could really use any advice
Throwaway because i’m still kind of ashamed of my feelings
tl;dr Have been thinking about breaking up with my partner for a while despite still loving them, feeling that i don’t want to hurt them but don’t know how to adress the issue
1 comment
Just be honest, but kind: while you treasure the memories of your relationship and think she is a lovely person, you are finding the distance difficult and are craving a relationship with someone who has more similar interests. Yes she will likely be hurt, but that is not a reason to not break up if the relationship is not fulfilling for you. You do not owe anyone a relationship, only respect and kindness.