Hi all, how would you feel if you found out that your now partner [23M] has slept with someone and then straight after texted you [21 F] to go on the first date? But before this, you have been talking and getting to know each other via text for 2 months.
TLDR: We have been speaking and getting along really well via online for just over two months when this happened. Maybe I’m just overthinking and getting a bit annoyed and upset about this. I asked him last night what if I have done this to him and he said he would be annoyed but didn’t admit the fact that he has literally done it to me. I would like some thoughts because part of me is upset that does he have genuine feelings about me and the other half is thinking I am so stupid and don’t have the right to be upset.
7 comments
Have you asked him how he would feel if the position was switched? Because if he wouldn’t be okay with it then that says a lot about him. Me personally I think that was wrong of him to do. 2 months of texting should mean that you’re both exclusive and not sleeping with anyone else or dating other people.
I don’t think it matters how others feel it’s how you feel if that’s acceptable or not, for me personally when I was dating I wasn’t one to be messaging multiple guys or sleeping around I’d pick one person speak then plan a date, if I found out he did what your bf did I wouldn’t see that as being okay because it’s not something I’d do because I personally think it’s disrespectful. So it’s down to how it makes you feel is it something hou can let slide or will it always be an argument to bring up, does it bash your confidence? Is so then walk away find someone with a simular mindset to you.
Edit: May I add though if he openly told you then maybe give him a chance atleast he was honest not many would be! If you found out though then that’s kinda sh*tty
This type of thing is very subjective. Me personally I wouldn’t care. We weren’t together yet. But I understand how it could upset other people. You should bring up that it bothers you but you should avoid accusing him of having done something wrong. It is my position and probably his as well that whatever happens prior to when my partner and I begin dating is not relevant to this relationship. If you come at him accusatory he will respond with confusion and “but we weren’t together yet?”
You have all rights to be upset and are entitled to your emotions. Communicate with him your feelings and doubts you may now have due to finding out. It is disrespectful, yet at the same time, did you two come to a conclusion to be monogamous while speaking to one another? Did you two have a talk on how you two will not speak to other people? Personally, I’d be upset and would need time to think about the situation and speak to my partner about the situation to see how we can come to peace with the situation.
Honestly, I wouldn’t care. However like others have said, you’re entitled to your emotions and if you’re upset about it then you’re upset about it.
Id be a little jealous but i wouldn’t make a big deal out of it
Sounds like he wants to hook up with someone and you are next on his list.