Opinions of boundaries of an “ex”

I just want to lay this situation out in the open because I just want to know the general public’s view in comparison to my perspective/understanding. (I am afraid this is going to be a long and complex post ahead as there are many things to be considered). Okay, so I’m currently in a serious relationship for quite a while now. We started on a rough patch due to my s/o’s previous relationship (*”the ex”*).

The ex and my s/o had been in a relationship for 3-4ish years, so the ex was really close to my s/o’s family. But, the ex happened to cheat on my s/o, which led him to serious clinically-diagnosed mental problems. But their families kind of forced my s/o to fix their relationship because they do not want their relationship years to go to waste. So they got back together after several months and my s/o claims that their relationship did not feel the same. My s/o claims that their trust was nowhere to be found and that they did not feel love towards the ex at all.

Fast forward to a couple of months later, we met at work and clicked as friends. My s/o then realized they are growing feelings for me and we know that is not right because they are still in a relationship so we decided to distance from each other. The ex (to clarify: who is still in a relationship with my s/o at the time) then reached out to me and told me that they did not cheat (which I found out were lies because I learned from my s/o’s family that the ex, indeed, cheated). The ex then said that it was actually my s/o who cheated (again, lies). In short, they manipulated the situation. But in the end, my s/o chose to end their relationship.

Months after, our friendship rekindled and grew into something we are today. But the ex still bothers me and blatantly stalks my accounts and my activities. The ex’s friends and family were also doing the same. Me and my s/o decided not to entertain them and live to do what we want. My s/o’s family accepted me and happily welcomed me. But the ex still wants the spotlight and was always reaching out to my s/o’s family — in fact, the ex was blaming us as someone was anonymously sending her hate messages. The ex called my s/o’s mom and tells her that we were bothering them and posting things on social media (WHICH WE DON’T we were just posting pictures of us like a normal person would). Thankfully, my s/o’s family tells them to leave us be as we were happy. Basically, the ex did not stop reaching out to the family.

AGAIN FAST FORWARD TO A YEAR LATER, the ex still stalks me and my activities. I really downplayed the ex’s behavior because the ex may have their reasons and I am not in a position to stop them from being friendly still with my s/o’s family because they really had a bond. But, I came across a post about “boundaries” and it got me thinking. Isn’t it that the ex’s behavior counterproductive? The ex does not create any boundaries from all that is involved with my s/o. That is why the ex still feels threatened despite being in a new relationship now (this information has been relayed by the ex themself to my s/o’s mom to prove that they had “moved on”). Thus the ex bothers me continuously. I think that they need to set some distance with my s/o’s family. Not because I am bothered but rather so that they can have their peace, as well.

I just really want to consider that the ex have their reasons. But their behavior is a really big question mark for me. So I want to gather the general public’s opinion and insights about this. Whatever you share or respond would be a really great help for me.

TL-DR- My current partner’s ex (plus the ex’s friends and family) have been stalking me since the end of their relationship with my partner up until now (more than a year). Now, the ex still reaches out to the family of my partner. The family wants to remain civil with the ex and they do not initiate any interaction. I just want to know the public’s opinion if my understanding that the ex should be the one who would establish boundaries from the family for them to stop being so bothered about me and my partner’s relationship.