Like if a girl texts your boyfriend, you’re mad at him, like he’s not allowed to know any females. Or he had to go out of town and now you don’t have anything to do on your usual date night. I don’t know, any random example where clearly it’s not his fault, he’s not doing anything wrong, but you feel annoyed anyway… I just don’t like being jealous or whatever and I want to know if I’m crazy or if other people ever feel this way
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Yeah. You’re crazy.
My own jealousies come from a place of previous hurt, and they are a sign to me that I’m scared of the following:
– not being enough
– being too much
– being abandoned
– the “other shoe dropping”
When I catch myself doing that, I just remind myself that life is an adventure, romance most of all, and that nothing in it is perfectly safe. I also make it a point to intentionally trade ego-building with my partner because we *both* have these feelings, and they only get out of check when we aren’t talking about them to each other accountably (as in: owning that those feelings are ours and didn’t come from anything the other did to us) and transparently. “I’m struggling with my insecurity today, babe, and it’s just been rough. You didn’t do anything, but I need some time with you about it. Can we cuddle for a while or go do something together?” Those kinds of conversations give us the opportunity to be emotionally present for each other instead of struggling against brain worms separately and alone.
It’s worth noting that I’m an enby, and he’s a guy. This isn’t a “crazy girl” problem.