18M, i think i have undiagnosed Aspergers. So yeah, we had been talking for a week and we were pretty different but we liked each other, he’s way more sexual and extroverted than i am, i’m pretty slow with these things cause i prefer getting to know the person first. i was able to talk to him normally during text, and i really liked him. we liked eachother. we met on friday, and he waited for me on the train station. I thought this time it was going to be different and i would be able to normally talk to someone, when i got there we saw eachother and i weirdly hugged him. he said it was weird. I barely talked and basically shat down during the whole date. he talked to me and i wasn’t able to continue the conversation. We talked but nothing too deep. he told me the way i walked was weird, i had a high pitch voice and did weird faces while talking. i have never felt worse, knowing that i was ruining a moment for both of us and not being able to do anything. we went to have dinner a few hours later and by then i was completely exhausted. he asked me if i was okay a few times and if i had anxiety. i didn’t even respond. he told me i could leave if i wanted a few times. i stood up, we hugged and I left. i inmediatley started crying and didn’t stop for 2 hours , on the train and after getting home. i feel so miserable and my poor social skills will never let me meet someone I like. i have not been this sad for a long time. he messaged me after leaving and told me that i didn’t have to feel ashamed and it was okay, but i know he doesen’t really feel that way. i’m sad not only because i wasn’t able to keep a conversation with him and how i lost him but because of my poor social skills and the fact that i don’t know how to go to parties or be active on relationships. i’m so socially akward i have to know everything about someone before meeting them and i don’t know how to go out of script. i don’t know why i’m sharing this but i felt like it, cause i feel miserable rn
3 comments
Hon, you did not ruin the moment, *he did*. He called you “weird” multiple times, of course that’s going to throw you off. It’s rude and tactless at best. Date people who make you feel safe, who don’t judge you, who embrace your quirks and allow you be who you are, nerves and all.
You should have told him that you are definitely motivated to know him more but you don’t want to rush things and everything you said here.
That would have allowed him to adjust his behavior you wouldn’t have felt uncomfortable.
He was rough. Almost rude.
Don’t be ashamed, you did absolutely nothing wrong from what you write.
I really don’t feel like you lost something.
Don’t be miserable about it when you think about it. Be happy that you didn’t get stuck with this guy. Clearly he thought he was better than you and that he could step all over your feelings without thinking how you feel.
It’s obvious that you are a genuine person who cares about others. Don’t ever question who you are as long as you are good to others they have no business questioning you.
People need to understand when a person is at their best. Best and perfect are two different words but people don’t get that. Especially those people who feel that they can judge and criticize others, Believe me you don’t need people like that in your life.
I realize it hurt but be proud of yourself for staying away from that situation. Be proud that you didn’t give in to his criticism and lower your standards for him.
Be proud that you don’t have to be the person to school this guy on how to be a good person…
You’re a good person and that’s why you’ll be just fine.