dear woman of reddit: how do you handle the sexual things your partner enjoys but you dislike them? Don’t do them with your partner? Do them only sometimes? Or often as your partner enjoys it a lot?

17 comments

1. I would never do something I specifically dislike. If it is something I’m meh about, sometimes I’m in the mood to do it and sometimes not.

   Compromising on sexual acts usually leads to resentment. If you are incompatible sexually, it may be time to find someone else.

2. I’m very open-minded, so unless it’s absolutely something I’m not even remotely interested in or curious about, I’m willing to explore it, hear them out about what they want to do, and try it. Hell, sometimes I’ve gotten really into things they brought to me, and, would never have guessed I would be, so it may surprise you, but everyone’s different. I’m very much a service submissive type, so I’d love to please my partner and do things they like.

3. If we don’t both enjoy something, we don’t do it. For us, sex is meant to be a mutually pleasurable experience in all ways. If there was something that either one of us disliked, we just wouldn’t do that. Depending on what it was or how important it was to the person, it might be a deal-breaker for the relationship. If a specific act was important to one person to have that while the other person disliked it, then that would be an incompatibility that would end the relationship. Thankfully, we align very well so this isn’t an issue for us.

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5. If it’s not something that falls under any of my sexual boundaries then I’ll try it. I also trust my gf enough to know that she wouldn’t suggest something that I would really hate or be uncomfortable with. An example is our relationship is she likes showering together/shower sex and I like to keep my shower time as my me time. I compromise by sometimes inviting her to shower with me.

6. I’m not gonna do anything I dislike.

   Keep in mind there’s a difference between “eh, I don’t care either way” and “dislike”

   I would never expect/want him to do things he dislikes either.

7. Ive not disliked stuff, ive been meh where its like i gotta be in the mood. Never put yourself in a situation where your forcing yourself to do stuff you dont want to, just talk to them about it. Especially if they really enjoy it but you dislike it

8. It’s compromise and understanding. I won’t do something I hate so either we do something else or I help him do it himself so I don’t have to partake if I’m okay with it. I’ll do something I don’t mind because I love it when he has fun, and it all goes both ways.

   These are random, but like, say he likes pain and I don’t. I’m okay with slapping HIM in bed, but I won’t let him slap me. That’s compromise. Or if he likes BJs and I’m neutral, I’ll do it because I want him to have a good time and I’m fine with it, I just don’t enjoy it personally. Compromise.

   But if he wants to do something I’m really uncomfortable with in all forms, we just don’t do it. We do something else. That’s understanding.

   We’ve been dating for awhile so we’ve worked out a good system 😊 nobody does something they don’t wanna do but we still have fun together.

9. Enthusiastic consent required from both parties for me. So I don’t do things that I am not excited about and he doesn’t do things he is not excited about. In my head, a blowjob that I don’t want to do is not going to be enjoyable for either of us for example

10. My number 1 bedroom rule is as follows: If I don’t want to do it, that shit ain’t happening.

11. There are very few things I straight up dislike sexually, and I’m just not going to do them.

    Hasn’t ever been an issue with my partners in the past, and if it was we wouldn’t be sexually compatible

12. Sometimes I get in a more adventurous mood. Do it then. Otherwise I’m not going to do something I’m not into.

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14. Take one for the team. Obviously.

15. I don’t do sexual acts I don’t enjoy. Not with anyone.

16. I’m pretty open minded and will usually try anything once 😊. But if he knows I don’t like it and continues to ask for it then it’s gonna be a no for me I won’t do anything I don’t like.

17. I am too old to do things I dislike. I have had men storm out when I told them no to certain positions or things in the bedroom. Their loss, not mind.