Hello,
So I went to high school with a guy who plays in the NBA. We were boys back in HS and I would drive him around to girls houses’ when I got my license (because he was a year younger than me).
He went off to college for 2 years and now plays in the NBA.
We talk maybe once or twice a year just as friends, maybe I’ll congratulate him when he has a good game or facetimed when he got drafted. He text me not to long ago about a watch he was looking at getting because I also buy/sell watches.
I’m going to his city in 2 weeks for work and since I don’t know anybody else there, I thought I’d hit him up and ask him to do something. I just don’t want to come across as “Oh he wants to hang out now that I’m in the league guarding Curry”
This comes up because one of our classmates plays in the NFL as well and now everybody wants to be his friend and comes out of the woodwork and it’s annoying
This may be a dumb question – I just don’t want to come off the wrong way. I don’t really look at him any differently. Again, we were boys in HS, I just don’t want to appear as “coming out of the woodwork”
33 comments
Man relax just be like you used to be.
Let him know that work is sending you to his city on specific days, let him know you’d be down to grab dinner. Suggest a night, but also say something like “hey, if that night doesn’t work for you let me know if another works.”
>This comes up because one of our classmates plays in the NFL as well and now everybody wants to be his friend
Yeah but you are *actually* friends. Just don’t ask him to introduce you to the team or give you free tickets or anything like that obviously. But I don’t think you should feel weird about seeing if he wants to grab lunch and catch up.
Send a text, hey I will be in the area on whatever day. Do you want to meet up for a meal?
If you’re concerned about your friend feeling like you’re using him as a connection, then I think the best thing to do is to think of playing in the NBA as a job. Ask him about how HE is doing, not what’s it like to play with another person. Your friend’s job is a huge part of his life, but people have lives outside of work too, and that’s what I’d show interest in.
Hey! I’m gonna be in your area on (x date). If you’re around and free that night let’s meet for drinks and catch up. Hope you’ve been good!
Nah, just be cool like you’ve always been and see if he wants to meet up for a meal. Not everything is about his career – you just want to see your buddy again.
If you still talk once or twice a year you’re not just coming out of the woodwork! That’s just how it is as an adult with friends from home. You may not see or talk to them for years but if you happen to be in their city you may decide hit them up and see if they wanna hang. I’m sure this guy would appreciate a normal invitation to kick it from someone who knew him before he was famous.
I get what you’re saying but nah man if you were homies before the fame theres nothing to worry about. I’m very curious who the player is 🤔
If you are still chatting one or twice a year, I think its perfectly fine to ask him if he wants to grab a meal or something when you are in town.
Tell him that you are going to be in his city.. ask him to meet up and ask if he needs anything from home?
Put the ball in his court, ha. Just let him know when you’ll be in town and if he wants to meet up while you’re visiting. Don’t over think it.
Just treat him like a normal person. Unless you’re only hanging out with him because of his success I don’t see why he would see it that way. He’s still a regular person
you were friends before he got into the nba. you’re one of the guys he goes to when he wants to just be himself. you’re important to him
Just relax act normal and shit dude. You guys are friends. Even if you minimally are friends by definition of the word. You are still friends. Act like you normally would with the guy. I’m sure he’d appreciate that a lot more than you trying to pretend like you’re not here because he’s in the NBA. Given he’s in the NBA I am sure he’d love someone treating him normally instead of like a celebrity. Speaking from experience. I used to live beside a member of the CFL’s(just as big for us Canadians as the NFL) Saskatchewan Roughriders. He liked that I treated him just as another guy in the neighborhood, not a superstar on a pedestal.
“Hey man, I’ll be in your area on x dates and I would love to see you and catch up. Can I buy you a beer?”
Yeah hit him up. Being famous is lonely.
Since you’re friends, it’s okay. It’s not like, even though you went to the same school, you suddenly remember him, but you never actually hung out with him back then. In this case, you guys are actually friends. So, it’s basically you connecting with a friend.
Just hang out with him like you would any friend whose city you are visiting for work. He plays in the NBA, that’s his job, he’s still a guy. Ask if he wants to get drinks or dinner when you’re in town to hang out, and pay for yourself at the minimum, pay if your able, and if he insists on paying at least protest. But either way at the end of the day expect nothing but to hang out with an old friend.
Go ahead, just don’t ask him for anything. He’ll be experiencing a lot of people showing up asking him for money. Being someone who just wants to hang out should be very welcome.
You’re overthinking this. You were friends, you still talk, and you will be in his area. Just send him a message telling him if he wants to have something to drink or eat with you and catch up, if he doesn’t have time he will tell you so.
Ask him to pick what to eat, don’t assume he’s paying, and don’t ask him for money or favors. Talk about life in general, and don’t fangirl. He will probably appreciate someone from the old days being cool and not all grabby.
Even if he’s a huge NBA player he’s a regular guy the other 99% of his life. Trust me he’ll probably find it refreshing to talk to an old cool friend who isn’t part of that exhausting world of fame
You guys used to be friends and there actually was something established but y’all had to actually be friends, going out for drinks or playing basketball a few times doesn’t really make you buddies but if you guys were close enough to genuinely hangout and have laughs consistent, why not just throw it up casually like hey man, dk if you’re free but I’m in town for a bit and it’s be cool to catch up and grab some drinks for old times. Something easy and simple and not desperate. You’ll be fine dude 👍🏾
Most of these guys have their boys from before they were famous on payroll. Its hard to trust people that are there just for the money and fame.
Offer to buy him lunch and catch up. If you were actual friends then be clear it’s because you’re friends and you want nothing to do with mooching off him or trying to latch onto his fame. Don’t ask for a photo or anything weird, just enjoy your time together. Y’all are boys, just don’t be weird about it and you’ll be fine
Just text him hey I’m gonna be in town around x date and wanted to see of you can hang out and catch up. Keep it casual like you use to in HS.
What’s the “food” reference? I’m confused.
Your friends tho. Should be fine to just hit him up and see if he wants to hang out.
If you are good friends, what is the issue here? You are overcomplicating things. Just ask him to hang out. If he says no, cool. If he says yes, cool.
Assuming he says yes, pay your own bill. Maybe take care of his as well if it’s not extravagant and within your means.
This dude probably has everyone coming after him and expecting him to foot the bill. It will make him feel better about accepting your offer of dinner, and let him know you’re not just trying to get after his wallet.
Honestly everyone enjoys being treated unexpectedly, especially when people are always looking at you when the check comes.
Him to the team in the locker room:
I talk to the dude once, maybe twice a year. You thinks it’s weird if I ask him to find a watch for me since he sells watches?
You’re asking a friend to grab lunch. Nothing weird about that
“Hey dude, im going to be in town on this date. Wanna go meet up and have dinner or hang if you arent busy?”