I’m 16 and I started at a new school in September. I made friends with some other new students and I really like them; they’re kind, interesting and funny. I really think they like me too, which is wonderful.
The only problem is that I’m constantly the butt of all their jokes and everyone keep jokingly insulting me. One girl in particular does this a lot but she explained that it was her ‘way of showing affection’. The thing is, she only insults and teases me, no one else.
It was fine up to a point but recently the jokes have gotten more pointed (especially from that one girl) and I’m beginning to worry about it, that they actually don’t like me and all that. She’s joked or teased me about things that I really feel insecure about. Small things like the clothes I’m wearing, my accent, being awkward, being really bad at talking to new people. There’s truth behind what she says and I have to admit it does hurt a little.
Eventually I decided to talk to her. I said to her ‘Sometimes when you insult me I feel like there’s truth behind it and it actually does make me feel bad.’
She hugged me and took back that particular insult but it didn’t stop her. In fact the next time she did it again it was one of the worst, outright saying how I was ‘terrible’ at talking to people I didn’t know that well, that I was too shy and awkward and ‘had’ to improve, and comparing my abysmal social skills with her own and another friend’s.
It sounds stupid but it hurt me. I know what she said is right but recently I had been really trying to improve.
I don’t think she’s unkind. It’s my fault; I shouldn’t have laughed at all the other jokes and all that. I just need advice on what to do now, if I should just outright confront her or something. I’m a bit lost and I’d really appreciate any advice. Thank you 🙂
4 comments
She’s being a bully and she know it. You confronted her and she didn’t stop. I think it’s time for you to find better friends. True friends will help you, not tear you down.
Good for you for distancing youself from her. Toxic people are not friends. I know you don’t want to lose her as a friend, but it’s better to a have a small circle of sincere friends than a large group of uncaring bullies.
You don’t think she is unkind and I think she is very very unkind. Someone who hurts others to make themselves look better is not a good person. Find friends that get you might be socially unsure at times but they love you anyway. The ones that laugh with you are the best ones. Not ones that laugh at you.
She’s a bully. Don’t waste anymore time on her especially since you already tried to reason with her and she got worse.
Maybe seek out a new friend group too since she’s probably got her claws deep in this one.
She’s probably just jealous of you and feeling threatened people like you more than her.