I (17F) feel like my boyfriend (17M) doesn’t respect me enough. When we first started dating he would always make jokes and comments that could be considered rude but we had been friends for years before we started dating so i knew that it was just his personality. They would be super small comments that are supposed to be sarcastic jokes but eventually they started getting to me. For example, he’ll call me a “shitty driver” and always talk about how much better he is at driving than i am. The comments used to be funny because admittedly when i first started driving i did suck but now there’s no need for him to make those types of comments. Now, he even uses my driving as an excuse to not do things. If i offer to drive he’ll say something along the lines of “No, I want to be able to get there quickly”. It’s unnecessary and he makes jokes that belittle me all the time. Or another instance is that he is just overly sexual all the time. Like even when i say i’m not into it he’ll still make insinuations about us doing it or get all touchy with me. He also doesn’t do sweet things often. He knows how much I like flowers and he says that they’re too expensive to get all the time. He’s gotten them for me three times in the year and a half we’ve been dating. The third time was only because i showed him a picture of someone else getting them for his girlfriend. Those are only some of the things he does. I don’t know how to bring this up to him or if i even should at all. What should I say? Any advice is appreciated!
TLDR: I feel like my BF doesn’t respect me.
3 comments
I dont really have much to go on regarding the flower thing or the sexual comments, but regarding calling you a shitty driver and using it as an excuse for bullshit, yes I would agree that’s very disrespectful and kind of gaslighty. If hes making jokes about you and you dont feel like you’re in on the joke, that’s likely emotional abuse.
So then why are you still with him?
Why are you rewarding his shitty behavior with your continued presence in his life?
His “personality” is that he’s a rude, pushy asshat.
Do you want to date a rude, pushy asshat?
Look, you say right in your post that he makes jokes that belittle you all the time. My advice is to break up with someone who thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to be rude and belittle their girlfriend all the time. Ask yourself, would you treat him that way? No, right? You don’t have to eat shit just because that’s what he’s serving.