Me and my partner both *love* giving oral.
Ironically so, both of us were shy about receiving it at first, but have learned to enjoy it with each other.
The problem with me (I have a vag.. lol)
Is that I’m a bit phobic to it..
Which feels really sad when I have a super hot partner who absolutely loves giving oral and is so hot and good at it..
Its the first person who has made me orgasm from it and felt comfortable as well..
However, I still have a difficulty a lot of the time enjoying it.
Often, I’m extremely tense which definitely doesn’t help, but I have a hard time easing down..
I’m also incredibly self conscious on a whole physical level, I have a hard time feeling comfortable about my body and that they’re at such a vulnerable place.. I never feel comfortable doing anything unless I’m completely clean and most favourably shaven.. Otherwise I feel way too self conscious about it.
I think I tend to dissociate as well while receiving it..
I did have some sexual trauma from an early age and I think it particularly bleed into difficulties receiving oral as well..
On the flip side, overthinking it can also be a problem.. I get self conscious of simply having a hard time orgasming from it- and having them stay there long, even though its really great!
A lot of times I feel overstimulated and withdraw- guess this is also part of the being tense thing.. Anybody relate? Even though something is amazing but then all of a sudden its just too much and you can’t handle it
Even stimulation that ideally is really good but is overwhelming to get with somehow..
Like, normally, touching myself or using a suction toy- its maybe the sense of control that makes it never feel “too much” and I can easily orgasm.. Also my partner can easily make me orgasm by just touching me with their hand down there..
Its just strange and I’m a bit sad having a hard time enjoying something I really feel is a waste and a wonder why I can’t enjoy as much as I absolutely want to.
The slightest things can impact the overall mood of it as well, lighting, surroundings and such..
Anyway.. Does anybody have any suggestions for this? Can anybody relate?
2 comments
You just described my partner 😂 following for science
Talk to your partner, tell them everything you explained here.
Never have orgasm as the goal/expectation…just have fun and receive oral for as long as you want, then you can switch to something else or stop. Explain this to your partner too.
Have you had counselling for your trauma, maybe look into that? Discuss triggers etc with your partner and make sure you are 100% comfortable with stopping things whenever you want, if you find it difficult you can have a word or phrase.
For the overstimulation, give feedback to your partner such as ask him to go slower or be more gentle, use flat tongue instead of pointed, gently kiss around but avoid the clit for a little bit. Maybe watch lindsey love how to eat pussy together for some ideas of gentle teasing techniques.