My bf (24m) and I (24f) have talked about it a few times, but I’d like to start actually considering it and making plans.
I’m a little nervous to move away from my home, friends and family. We haven’t officially lived together yet, but we’ve been dating for 5+ years.
This would be a very big change for both of us and I can’t stop thinking about the “what ifs”.
Then comes the- where.
We have a list. Some places he would have a friend or two and some places would be a clean slate for both of us. I’m not sure which is better. On one hand it would be nice for him to have a friend in a new place, but I worry it will put more pressure on me (and ultimately our relationship) to find my own friends since he’ll be spending time with them.
TL;DR: overthinking 24 yr old wondering if moving out of state with bf is a good/bad idea
4 comments
Hey OP pm me I gotchu.
Relocating to a new city or state with a partner takes a lot of trust and isn’t going to be the easiest transition. How does your partner feel on their end about moving?
My husband moved countries to live with me 4 years ago. It was a discussion that we made after a lot of deliberation and deciding things such as who could support whom better among other factors such as if each of us thought we could happily live in the new country. Eventually it made the most sense for him to join me here instead of vice versa. It so far has been wonderful and he has expressed no regrets to me (other than the fact that we have not been able to visit his family during the pandemic, which was unfortunate but obviously not something we could have foreseen). Don’t make a decision until you feel confident that you have come to a conclusion you’re both comfortable with. But it can definitely work.
Well yes, he wanted to move to start over and leave our troubles behind and the rational adults reading this will cringe at we all know happened: wherever you go there you are.
So just be honest with yourself that you really want to be in this partnership and know that every problem will be more stressful and you’ll be stuck with each other to lean on, it might take a long time even years to develop a social network in the new place, depending on the kind of work you have or how gregarious you and the new town is.