I’ve been putting in so much effort, time, and care into making friends, but it just never seemed to go anywhere. I know I’m pretty awkward sometimes because of my social anxiety, but I thought I could usually still hold a decent conversation. I always wondered if there was something wrong with me or something so uninteresting about me that people that know me in person don’t bother initiating hangouts or don’t stick around even after I initiate.
There is this girl I worked with on a club project last semester, and I really wanted to be her friend because she seemed cool. Some of the club members shared social media with each other, so I got hers. I found out from her bio that we shared a common interest, so I messaged her and bonded with her over that fact. The conversation ended shortly, though. We didn’t get many opportunities to interact one-on-one during club meetings or on campus because of our schedules. When the semester ended, naturally we didn’t text either. I was disappointed that I wasn’t able to make a single friend, despite my efforts.
Yesterday, I responded to her social media story and took the chance to check in on how she was doing this summer and to ask her to meet up sometime in the next few weeks if she was free since we didn’t get chances to talk much last semester. She agreed instantly and we met up for dinner today! I hadn’t done this in a long time, so I was super nervous going in. I even had an exit excuse prepared in case things didn’t go too well. To my relief, we were able to have good conversation, and I was able to learn more about her. When I got home, I messaged her that it was great seeing her today and followed up by sending a link that I said I would send her. A few hours later, she responded back by apologizing that the late response was due to her phone dying and that she enjoyed seeing me too and we should hang out more. I don’t know if she actually meant it or was just saying it to be courteous, but it made me happy. She’s going to be moving an hour away from me soon, so I don’t know if we will even have chances to hang out off campus and actually become friends.
Regardless, I’m proud of myself for taking the initiative to ask to meet up with someone I wanted to get to know more. 10 minutes before leaving, I could feel the nerves and anxiety of the possibility that she won’t like me get to me and almost considered baling last minute, but I didn’t. I didn’t, guys!