**Original Post:** [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/v891gr/my\_22f\_boyfriend\_26m\_calls\_me\_demanding\_and/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=ios\_app&utm\_name=iossmf](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/v891gr/my_22f_boyfriend_26m_calls_me_demanding_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
***\[UPDATE\]***: I had a talk with my long-distance bf. All his close friends and family already knew about me. I agree that hanging out with his female friend 1 on 1 is okay, as long as he sets his Facebook Relationship status as *“In A Relationship”* instead of nothing (it’s the only solution to make the relationship public I can think of for now). However, he said he isn’t comfortable setting it now because:
1. I broke up with him twice over the last 2 months. He had told some close friends about those breakups. If they see his FB relationship status, they will ask him then he’ll need to explain. It’ll only make me and our relationship look bad in their eyes because we kept going on/off.
2. He doesn’t want to risk changing it if I broke up with him again in just a few weeks (like I did before). If I had asked him before those breakups, he’d have set “*In A Relationship”* but not now.
3. He doesn’t have the need to let everyone knows about his love life.
However, if things go well until next month after we meet again, he’ll set it, if I want. He’ll officially introduce me to everyone in person.
Should I agree with his reasoning?
TL;DR: I agree that my bf can hang out with his female friend alone, as long as his FB relationship status is *”In a Relationship”* because we are in a long-distance relationship. He doesn’t want to set it because I broke up with him twice in the last 2 months (due to miscommunication), so he is having doubt about it. However, if things go well until we meet again next month, he’ll set it. He’ll also introduce me to everyone. Any advice?
8 comments
Who cares how YOUR relationship looks in other peoples eyes? He should not let that influence how he goes about things at all. He is hiding it for the sake of how he looks to others.
Those are some of the lamest excuses I have ever heard. He doesn’t want to change his status because he wants people (at least *some* people) to think he’s single.
If friends and family already know, why would it be such a big deal to make it public? That doesn’t add up.
If you already broke up twice, I don’t see this happening, sorry. Take it from someone who had the same situation (EU-US, LDR, trust issues), it won’t get any easier. LDR have the illusion that you know someone well, but it only adds up the years before you really see the big red flags in person. If you’re already arguing over facebook statuses and boundaries now, it won’t magically disappear just because you’re physically together. Trust issues will just manifest in different ways afterwards. DMs are open if you wanna chat, I went through this whole thing around 5 years ago and I know exactly how you feel now.
Neither of you are mature enough to be in a relationship. Continually breaking up with someone because you aren’t getting your way is childish. Thinking that a facebook status has any bearing on a relationship is childish. Thinking that you can control who your boyfriend is friends with is childish and abusive.
Just leave this dude alone and get some therapy to work on your issues.
Why do you keep breaking up with him?
So your sense of security in your relationship is going to come from a Facebook status and not how your boyfriend treats you? Do you even realize how silly that is?
You left a lot of crucial information out in your original post.
Break up with him for his sake and get into therapy.
You guys should break up permanently.