How is marriage, non-monogamous relationships , and cheating viewed in your country?

6 comments

1. Marriage is not seen as a commitment for a lifetime anymore.

   Non-monogamous relationships are the exception, people usually don’t understand them but in Spain, we take a “live and let others live” approach to this kind of thing… although in rural areas you would be a gossip victim.

   Cheating is viewed very badly. If you are in that situation, just be honest with your partner and talk about opening or ending the relationship.

2. marriage – normal, sometimes seen as abit old-fashioned, sometimes seen as recommended but mostly normal

   non-monogamous relationships – unusual, but people mostly don’t care in cities. in rural/religious area, you will be the talk of the village (in a bad way).

   cheating – frowned upon

3. Marriage isn’t a requirement anymore unless you are part of a conservative religious group, and luckily there aren’t that many of them.

   Cheating is wrong obviously. Monogamous relationships are definitely the norm, but among the younger crowd some people are trying out having multiple partners at once. And some older people have probably been doing it too but they might not talk about it. I think a lot of people don’t really care if someone is poly because what they do in their home is their business as long as it’s consensual and only adults involved. But it depends a lot on where you live. Bigger cities like Helsinki or Tampere? People have more important things to think about. Bumfuck nowhere, especially in Bible belt? People will be talking about you for ages.

   In Finland (and probably everywhere else in the world tbh) I’ve observed that when it comes to polyamory it’s often a straight man who wants to date more than one woman while at the same time not really liking it if his girlfriends would date other men. As a lesbian I also run into “unicorn hunters” pretty often unfortunately, it’s straight couples who want a third, but the third has to be a woman. I’ve also met a number of bisexual women in pseudo-open heterosexual relationships; their boyfriends allow them to date women but not men, because women don’t count… All of this has made me personally a bit sceptical of non monogamy, but on the other hand I get that you can love more than one person romantically at the same time, it is something that’s very common. And if everyone involved is ok with it why not?

4. Marriage – standard, no longer necessarily expected but certainly still a fixture in the average relationship progression, but it’s not taken for granted though like it used to be. Millennial and under for example are very comfortable with the idea of long-term partnership without marriage.

   Non-monogamous relationships – starting to become more well-known but still a niche relationship format. On a personal and anecdotal level, as a millennial in a very liberal social group, polyamory is not considered noteworthy in the slightest. I think in more conservative/older circles it will raise eyebrows, but generally it’s not anyone else’s business how you conduct your personal relationships.

   Cheating – bad all round, and rightfully so. Deciding you no longer enjoy monogamy and want to pursue polyamory is perfectly fine – betraying your partner by fucking other people behind their back when you’ve previously agreed to be exclusive is a separate animal.

5. >marriage

   It’s a normal thing, but not the expected standard anymore (outside of the Bible Belt atleast). The amount of marriages has halved in absolute numbers compared to the 70’s, while the population has grown with about 5 million people. A lot of people simply never marry or register their relationship as a civil partnership. People that do marry, tend to marry at an older age than they did in the past (around their early 30’s on average).

   >non-monogamous relationships

   Definitely a thing that’s still out of the ordinary, but also not something that’s particularly noteworthy (outside of conservative circles atleast). Like it’s rather uncommon, but you’re not going to get judged for it in young and urban circles.

   >cheating

   Frowned upon. If you cheat on your partner you are a piece of shit, simple as that.

6. Marriage is not really necessary here. Over half of people aren’t married by the time they’re 30.

   Non-monogamous relationships happen but I think they’re pretty rare. Monogamy is the norm. However, people generally don’t care what your status is. It’s like that with a lot of things here. Keep doing what you’re doing as long as you aren’t bothering anyone.

   As for cheating, yeah it’s still frowned upon and often used as a reason for divorce.