TL;DR: I want to date, but I don’t know if I should…
I [21M] always liked the idea of being in love with someone, but I never feel for someone. I always just like this: I like how this girl looks, I think she has a nice personality, I think she would she would be a good match. I never dated, but I also never was crazy for a girl in my life. On short I don’t think I ever had a crush.
Now, I do want to start dating, but, with me not being in love with someone, do you think it’s even worth trying for me?
4 comments
You date someone for a while to see if you fall in love with them. How are you supposed to be in love with someone before you even know them?
Not only should you not wait until you’re in love before you date, if you are “in love” before dating then what you’re feeling is infatuation, not love.
Being in love comes from actually knowing a person, which you get by going out with them and talking with each other so you can figure what they’re really like, and they can do the same with you.
Infatuation is just getting fixated on an image of someone you’ve created in your head. The longer you do that, the further from the real person your image will be. Just go talk to her, see if she’s interested in going out, and don’t expect her to match the image you’ve got in your head.
You can’t be in love with someone you don’t know. You fall in love with someone after you’ve been dating and you make connections and build bonds that comes from mutual respect, mutual goals, aligned values, and desire to build a life with someone.
Where in the world did you get the idea that you would be in love with someone you don’t even know?
How would you know if you loved someone you’ve never spent any time with. You spend time with people to find out who you love and who you don’t. Get rid of the don’ts and keep a do.