Currently I (27F) am married to a wonderful guy (28M) who I’ve been with for 4 years now. Prior to this relationship, I was involved in a “situationship” as I like to call it. I say this because although the guy and I used bf/gf titles, it wasn’t an actual committed relationship, mainly because of him. He would always act single, cheating on me with multiple women. He would also find reasons to stop talking to me or cut me off along with a multitude of other things. He was just extremely toxic and emotionally abusive. Well, I ended up getting pregnant by this guy. This is really where the resentment comes in. I was only 20 years old, I was scared, going through family issues and just super depressed. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, my “ex” dumped me. He literally broke up with me to be with a girl at his job who he had obviously been talking to for months. To make matters worse, he would constantly play mind games with me one day saying he wanted a family, the next day bragging to me about what girl he was with. As I mentioned before, I was also having family issues during this time as my grandmother (who I was very close to) was on hospice. Due to all of the stress and timing, I made the painful choice to terminate the pregnancy. Of course I ended up cutting contact with the guy. It’s been over 5 years since this happened. Fast forward to now, I’m happily married to my now husband but my ex and I still have mutual friends. Through them, I find out that’s he is now married with a child. It’s been hard for my husband and I to conceive so when I found out about this, I was mad as hell. Not because I still care for the guy (way over that) but because here I am, struggling to conceive when this son of a b-word who not only was unsupportive and terrible during my pregnancy is blessed with a child, playing husband and father of the year. I seriously loathe this guy because of what he did to me, especially during what was supposed to be a joyous time. I can’t continue to let bitterness control me. How can I let this go?
TL: DR- I’m mad at my “ex” who left me during my pregnancy, who now has a kid with someone else.
1 comment
I can *feel* the resentment in this post. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.
The only answer is therapy. You should’ve gone to therapy a long time ago, but the second best time is today.