This girl texted me she had eyes on me, and she doesn’t seem to take care of her body, so I politely told her no. She just texted me “Why?”

Telling this woman her body fat is too high would come out as rude and disrespectful. What would you guys answer in this situation?

42 comments

  2. Well in the interest of not being rude, you can tell her that you aren’t interested in dating her but didn’t just want to ignore her like a douchebag. And then wish her a good day.

    90% chance she’s still going to take it personal, but at least you aren’t the rude one in the scenario.

  5. “I don’t feel comfortable answering that question and I hope you can respect that”.

  6. “It’s not you, it’s me” allows you to not do anything while still not hurting her feelings. Don’t bring up her body at all costs

  7. If she’s asking you why, she probably already knows.

    Don’t tell her the truth. Just say you aren’t into her.

  8. Were you born with a foot in your mouth? Unless you are her doctor and there is a medical reason for informing her, there’s really no need to share this. Just let her know you are not interested and move on.

  9. It’s easiest to say You are just not my type. Then she can figure out why she is not, is it her fat or her eye colour. This way you aren’t actually lying, she is not your type. You are just not being hurtfully blatant about it.

  12. Tough situation all around.

    I know I like honesty for improvement and all that, and preach it in my own relationship. That said, this is not a relationship yet. This is a prospective dating partner. I think it would be rude to just say that to someone you have no real connection with.

    As a formerly obese person, I can say that I always felt or knew that past rejections were associated with my weight, though insecurities and confidence issues played a role as well. She likely knows this about herself already, so you don’t need to say it.

    Just stick with you’re not my type, or my reasons are my own so please respect them.

  13. You don’t owe her an explanation. A simple “because I’m not interested” would suffice.

  15. You’re not my type
    I don’t see you that way
    I just don’t fancy you, sorry
    I don’t feel a spark between us

    All of the above are true. There are loads of things you can say without being a dick and telling her she’s too fat

  16. “I’m just not interested. I appreciate your confidence though. Best of luck in the future”

  17. you don’t need to specify about her fat %. you can just say you don’t like her in that way or that she’s not your type.

  18. Just tell her you aren’t my type. You aren’t interested. So many things you could say. I am not attracted to you.

  25. If you don’t care then tell her you don’t like fat women….

    If you do care then tell her you’re not interested or that she’s not your type….

  26. Hands are definitely giveaway. If her fingers look short and stubby and hands look swollen they are a dead giveaway to the rest of her body

  27. If you can’t be honest then don’t say anything no at all.
    “Not my type” works well. It’s both honest and direct. If she keeps asking what that type is you can say you don’t feel comfortable with having this conversation with them.

  28. It’s not you you’re just not my type. You don’t know why she’s overweight. There is a chance it’s medical, just her body structure, or maybe she doesn’t take care of herself due to whatever reasons such as depression. You’re not her boyfriend just a dude she is interested in and she’s a girl you were interested in. It’s not your place to be all “you’re overweight because you don’t take care of yourself, something needs to be done about it but regardless I’m not into it” don’t pack on her baggage you wouldn’t want someone rejecting you in the same way via “ew you just have to much body hair, too skinny, too small, too much vians, no facial hair” idk I’m sure you can think of at least something. Just let her down nicely

  29. You don’t tell her the truth because it will probably upset her and I don’t want to go around upsetting too many people. Just tell her that you just aren’t feeling it.

  31. So, uh. As a woman with a pretty curvy hourglass figure, If it were me, I’d want honesty. Because then I can work on improving myself (if it’s something that can be improved upon). Does that make sense?

    There are ways to be honest and still polite! Maybe say that you prefer a more athletic body type? Or, if you have fairly active hobbies, explain that you don’t think you actually have much in common?

    But everyone handles stuff like this differently, so my advice might not be sound.

  33. Just tell her you’re not interested in her as more than friends. You don’t need to go into any details

  34. She asked. She’s an adult. Don’t treat her like a baby, I find it ridiculous and pathetic when people lie (or use a white lie) to avoid the truth. Just tell her you want a fit girl to go climbing/running/work out with etc. Do you OWE her an explanation? No, but it costs you nothing to tell her the truth when she asked. She’s a grownup and can handle it.

  35. Babe you look beautiful, and you can look even prettier if you loose 10 lbs here in this area.

    ​

    Or, you can say, I reccomend you a great personal trainer to help you loose weight and gain muscle tone.

  36. You don’t say that, you just say you aren’t interested. You don’t owe an explanation

  37. You don’t owe her an explanation. Nor should you give her one in this situation. A simple “I’m just not interested” is more than enough. If she keeps pushing for a reason, I would remind her that you don’t owe her an explanation. “No” is a complete sentence.

  39. “How to tell a woman she has too high body fat without rudeness?”

    Instead of going into the “whys” you are *not* attracted just tell her she isn’t *your* type.

    If pushed to say more mention/describe what *your type is*.

    Each of us is entitled to have our own mate selection screening process and *must haves list*.

    Each of us is entitled to have our own boundaries and “deal breakers”.

    One person’s *preference* is another person’s *shallowness*.

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  40. YOU find her body fat to be too high. Doesn’t necessarily mean it is. So tell her you’re not interested. Her asking beyond that explanation would be a red flag.

  41. Because I’m not interested, please respect my decision, thank you. If she gets pissy, block her.

    Btw, good guitar playing skills.. I didn’t want to creep too long 😂

  42. I struggle with this too. I’m overly nice, and saying “Im not interested” feels a bit rude in it’s bluntness. So somehow I end up just being non responsive (not ghosting, just avoiding the question) which ends up feeling worse.
    I would appreciate some advice here, too.

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