Tl:dr – my boyfriend an I fight on every thing and I am always the instigator. He also lies and never give me attention, cause were doing long distance. I dont know what to do. We’ve been dating for 2 years.
So me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years almost and things are starting to go downhill. We fight all the time. At first I thought it was because of stress of uni applications and the fact that I didn’t know if I was going to get accepted into my dream program, but now that I have been accepted (yay!) It still hasn’t changed. We find new things to fight over.
The worst part of it is that im always the instigator. I find stupid stuff to get offended about and then pout. I find out lies (stupid lies like saying he asked his boss for a day off when in reality he hasn’t yet, etc) that he told and then get mad about it and confront him about it and then he gets offensive and act like I don’t trust him (which in reality, I dont think i do, sadly).
In also super jealous. Every time he hangs out with friends and there are other girls involved, I go do a background check, make sure he calls them ugly or non interesting, or I get extremely nervous and make him feel bad for hanging with them. (I’m pretty sure this comes from me being super insecure about myselfand non-trusting).
Lastly, I get pissed for literally nothing. He doesn’t wash his hand before eating, Igo: “wash your hands”. He doesn’t brush his teeth before bed, I tell him to. He’s always playing video games when we’re together or on his phone watching Netflix. He says I can’t relax and always have to do something. I mean yea I can relax but im not gonna spend the whole stupid day relaxing. He wakes up late, I wake up by 6. He goes to bed late, I go to bed by 9. He never textes me to tell me where he’s at, what he’s doing, what I’m doing, HOW I’m doing, im always the one who calls. And were doing long distance.
So ok, Ill say im like that crazy 10% of the time, which is why he probably still haven’t dumped me yet, but I feel like maybe its just a sign that its time to move on and break up. I dont want to, I love him and he makes me happy most of the time, but I get so pissed at him for small stuff that I don’t know if its worth it. The thought of breaking up scares me, I don’t feel like I could do it. I’ve tried talking to him about us and what we could do to like try to make each other happy again, but I feel like both of us aren’t trying/dont wanna try.
I think he stays with me out of laziness tbh and contentment, thinking he’s okay dealing with this for the rest of his life, while I’m not. I can’t change someone, I Know, and I think its even harder to change myself. But im also scared I wont be able to find someone as good as him in the future, since im too immature and horrible as a girlfriend.
I dont know what to do. Should I try to work things out? Do yall think im just crazy and lucky he’s still dating me ? Am I wasting my time ?
Disclaimer: I’m french so sorry for my bad English
6 comments
This very much sounds like it was written by the bf or a big ol’ fake post.
Taking the text at face value though, the whole relationship is a mess and no one is definitely lucky. Breaking it off will do most good to both. Or, hear me out, act like adults and not high school drama royalty teenagers. Lastly, the post also reads as being written by a teenager, no offense.
You both sound extremely toxic and immature and not ready for adult romantic relationships. You make him call women friends ugly or uninteresting?! That’s downright evil. Work on your jealously issues! If you can’t handle your partner having women friends, you shouldn’t be in a relationship! Figure out where this toxic jealously is coming from and fix it. And he lies? And has horrible hygiene? Look, just break up already. Concentrate on school and friends and work on yourself. Don’t get into another relationship until you’ve take some time to work through your issues.
You don’t like him, break up.
This just sounds like its not going to work out. Also don’t put your self down like that if its not working now its not going to work with him in years to come will probably only get worse. I guess you need to learn how to trust your partner in a variety of ways that they will be faithful and that they care about you. But long distance doesn’t seem to work out too well for most.
Sounds like you just aren’t fulfilled and enjoy drama.
The jealousy and insecurity you mention is a reflection of low self esteem. I left [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/jxue7u/im_toxic_and_jealous_please_help/gcyywqt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) on a post a while back, it may be helpful!