I have to get back to a dorm for 4 days between so many people.
I hate my workplace, I hate university, I hate people, I hate everything.
I can’t breath everytime I go out.
I just want to die. I can’t live. I can’t…I’m unfit for living in this world, I can’t communicate I can’t talk with people…they all make me feel so bad about myself. I feel like I’m a fish out of water.
Killing myself is the only way to get free, to be silent forever..My social skill is less than a 1 year old child.
I can’t afford therapy, I can’t talk with a therapist. I just want to be silent. I wish I was deaf and mute.
33 comments
Don’t be so stupid man look what you have and the things you can change.
you can live another live in a day if you want to. Or just buy some shrooms or maybe don’t pull on your dick to much but never lose hope the world is to beautiful for that
INDUSTRIAL SOCIETY AND ITS FUTURE
Introduction
1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries.
So does ranting about how u want to kys help ?.. just curious.
Whatever is happening now, the feeling you’re carrying at the moment – all that will pass. You might feel alone, but you’re not. You might feel unloved, but I know there’s tons of people who love you to bits.
Today it’s been a year and five days since my son killed himself. He had trouble expressing himself verbally, and he had lots of anxiety. And I’ll never see him again. Never ever. And it hurts so much, every fucking day, the loss and the grief…
Why do you hate your work and school? Those are things that can be changed, not worth killing yourself over.
Have you tried taking psychedelics?
I don’t think kys is the only option here. If you hate the way things are try to change them little by little I know it’s not easy and a lot is at risk but maybe you need to drop out and quit your job (ik that sounds terrible) but honestly I don’t condone staying in a situation where you are unhappy. Spend time alone with yourself. I agree that this world sucks and society can make you feel like you have to be a certain way or else you’re shit but honestly fuck society if you want to lose your mind and live free do that. I’d prefer you to do that instead of ending it please.
Nobody is immortal except some octopus 🐙 ( I read it somewhere). You are definitely going to die. That’s fact. There is a quote in my religion, Karma( your job is to plant a mango tree and care for it, you have no power over its fruit.). Whatever going to happen, it’s gonna happen. It’s very idiotic, but try to touch the land and promise that land( not as a nationalist but as a part of nature), that I DO MY BEST TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE GOOD DEEDS and I WILL PLAY MY PART WITHOUT WAITING FOR RESULTS. . This mother nature needs you. So respect your role.
Hey man, you’re on Reddit so you probably are 10000x more socially adept than whatever caricature ideal you have of yourself. Life sucks for a lot of people and the world is looking pretty grim right now, but I can promise you give it time and it’ll get better. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I hope you know at least this one stranger on the internet cares about your life.
FYI the hospital can kidnap you for at least a month for saying your suicidal.
Man sorry for saying that but writing down these words here won’t solve your problems. You gotta see a therapist asap. I wish best for you
Bro, without knowing your situation, all i can say is there is greener grass, you just got to know how to get there!
All psychology is biology…there are things that you can take that will normalize you’re neurotransmitters and make you feel better and give you a better perspective. I’m sure you will disagree but i would ask that you give it a chance. Remember when you’ve been upset in the past and the feeling that you had at the time, that it will never go away, but it does. You should see a doctor, but there are supplements that you can take that should help you to feel happier. I’m sure you just want to be happy!
As someone who’s attempted suicide before, don’t frekin do it holy shit! ITS NOT WORTH IT. once you try to do it, you regret it in a few seconds. Life is precious keep it. Things always pass. I love my life so much now. Stayed strong for so long and it’s gonna get better.
Also you said you hate people but why? We only have each other. It honestly gets really sad alone. Find the right friends and you will love life. Don’t hate everyone is my advice
I don’t know your home life or upbringing, so I’m going to skip the usual don’t kill yourself platitudes.
Can’t afford therapy? Most colleges offer mental health services free with the tuition you’ve already paid. Start there. Also go out and buy books on social skills and mental health. Another option is to get them from free for the library. Not great at absorbing information that way? Look up YouTube videos on the subject.
We live in a world where all information is at our fingertips. We have hundreds of years worth of books and god know how many videos on YouTube and other platforms.
Life is hard for most people and it sounds like you didn’t have the best examples to teach you how to buck up when things get hard. But it’s not over and you have options. Breathe in, breathe out, take a step in a positive direction, repeat.
Oh my, precious, you are in a lot of pain right now aren’t you my love.. I understand.. I’m hearing you. You’re not alone my darling..Across the vast expanse of cyberspace I’m reaching out my arms to you, they are open wide and so is my heart…my hope is that you will feel that it is a safe place to just be held and loved, and allow my shoulder to catch your tears and I’ll hold you however long it takes for you to catch your breath.. I do so truly understand how much you’re hurting as you describe it with such honesty.. Such a brave thing to do- to reach out and be so completely vulnerable.. Sweetheart, just live..that’s all you need to do – just live.. One foot in front of the other – that’s all that’s required of you – the love and support from all the people here who’ll offer it to you, will hold you up… this won’t last forever – I know it doesn’t feel that way today.. but the world won’t be the same if tomorrow comes and you are no longer here.. what’s your absolute favourite cake (or any treat: ice cream, donuts etc) ? I bet I can find a way to get it to you for your bday..
a little detective work and a little bit of Uber eats magic… and now I’ve suddenly gone from a shoulder to cry on to a cyber stalker – oops…
Was that a smile..!just for a second? …special, precious, lovely, courageous, sweetheart ….you just keep breathing ok.. and keep talking- I’ll be here my lovely 😊
Stay alive for your future self. For the coming Christmas mornings, for the stranger you’re gonna help at the bar, for the strong person you’re going to be after going through the worst.
DM me and I’ll help you, but only if you want help. Ex-jw here whose high school best friend killed himself 2 years ago. I won’t get into it here, but I have a lot of reasons to kill myself right now. Ask yourself what YOU want. Fuck other people, what do you want? Do you want to be alive, even if that means just doing fuckshitxyz for the rest of your life? Just ask yourself what you want, and if you want help, just dm me. Peace my brother.
I’ve found that hating people sometimes arises because I think that people hate me. And going out into the world—where everything is a social interaction, where to every person I wonder if I’m “enough”, where I often feel like my mind is closing in on itself from overthinking every social interaction—is scary, terrifying when you think people hate you, even just disapprove of you.
But the truth is, no matter how you feel, people do not hate you, and as some here have commented, many people love you. I for one, as one of many people in this world, feel for you. Many who feel for you, you wouldn’t know, but they do, because they, too, have their own problems—everyone does.
Please, from me, yourself some credit. Think of the challenges you’ve overcome, think of the ways you’ve helped people, the things that make you proud. And understand this itself is a challenge—imagine where you’ll be when you overcome it.
I’m sorry, OP. I genuinely am.
But I truly believe this will pass. You can get out of this situation. I’m not saying this as a stranger looking to provide advice. I’m saying this as a 24 yr old who felt suffocated and helpless less than 3 months back.
It might seem bleak now, but you can get through this. You will see light at the end of the tunnel. Talk to the people in your life. Never hesitate to reach out for help. You are young and have a lot of things to experience and enjoy.
>I can’t afford therapy
Could you reach out to the counseling services at your uni or workplace? It should definitely be a decent start.
If you can’t afford therapy did you consider talking to a social worker instead? I don’t know how it’s handled where you live but social workers in Germany are there to catch people who can’t go to therapy or have other problems that are just overwhelming. They are not as expensive as therapists.
Im going to deal with the most deadly interpretation of your words instead of the most likely which is depression and I’m not a therapist. You have a “I’m not okay, you’re not okay” mindset which suggests early childhood trauma. You also could have a contaminated child in the PAC model which result in “feelings or archaic experiences which are inappropriately expressed in the present…common symptoms are delusions and hallucinations” [I’m okay, you’re okay pg. 96] Did your parents criticise you for everything you said (or heard, or for not being good enough socially) when you were 1-5 or were you bullied as a child? or were they inconsistent in applying rewards? many causes all stemming from abuse
If this delusional state goes untreated it might have lead to a “decomissioned adult” and feeling like you cant interact with people. basically psychosis (although it likely hasn’t gone this far yet) which means you’re relying on your parents taught concept of life (when 1-5) and your child’s felt experience of life to them (when 1-5) instead of the adult thought experience telling you what to do. Physical symptoms of the prodomal (initial) stage of psychosis can be found [HERE](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.health.gov.bc.ca/library/publications/year/misc/Psychosis_Identification.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj9ufb2sar4AhWWFMAKHRzJC70QFnoECA0QBg&usg=AOvVaw2NEEZVUbH4Ug2C5OzB0VC4) although this is one of several conditions that can cause delusions.
Go out, start exercising
Is there any way that you can go to a drop in clinic and get on some meds for anxiety/depression ? It doesn’t have to be long term but it can definitely take the edge off so everything you think and feel is not so “loud”. It gives a bit of distance from one’s mind. I would encourage you to walk in nature – very calming, beautiful and healthy to exercise and have the natural endorphins kick in. Some soft, classical music can also be soothing and healing. Life is tough, no sugar coating it. I lost four jobs due to COVID, moved away from all my friends and colleagues, and children and drove 000’s of kilometres with my hubby to my mom. A year later, at the height of COVID, he found an older, rich woman online and hooked up. I evicted him that very day and ended a very long relationship. He moved in with her and we stopped all contact 7 months ago. I used the last of my money to divorce him. Still waiting for final papers. I am receiving zero from him, including the cost of divorce. I still pay for two storage units from where I am from and borrow monthly from my son to make those payments. I am hopefully attending university in fall – still awaiting results and unsure if I can go if funding falls through. By all accounts, I would make a great candidate for “ending it” but I will never do that to my children nor my mother – not to add to one’s guilt but it is a selfish act to the living. And…nothing lasts forever, including pain. I have sought help from a therapist to navigate these emotions, and get me to where I need. I am also extremely hopeful now and we are much stronger than we realize. These are tests and I rise to a challenge. Hold on, dig deep and I promise it will be worth it! I am double your age, and the one thing I wish for is MORE time. Life is a gift – it does not have to be a curse. We control much of the narrative, and that surprised me as my ex was very unsupportive of my many hopes and dreams. I, like you, decide the future. You are loved even if you do not realize it. Just look at all your Reddit friends here. We want good things for you and I want to read a future post from you about even little things that are getting better. The color will return – you are just in a dark place right now. I felt one foot away from the precipice about a year ago and the best is still yet to come! I have made many friends now that I have been here two years and I don’t feel so alone anymore. I am even considering getting my first tattoo ever of a Phoenix…(I loved Harry Potter, lol) but it is a reminder and representation of where I’ve been and the amazing trajectory my life has taken in a positive way. Everything happens for a reason, even if it is unclear at the time, stay tuned because all will be revealed and it may be the best ever. Silver linings, my friend. Start small…please get the help you need. 🙏 You are worth it!!! 😊🤗💛
This was me until a little over a year ago, I’m also 24, hang in there 🫂 I know from experience you just have to ride it out, and it will end
OP, I feel for you. I could have written an eerily similar post not too long ago. I remember sitting on my bedroom floor feeling pissed off because there were so many people in the word with terminal illnesses that would have done anything to live, and I was desperate for my life to end. I felt physical pain in my chest all day and the thought of doing anything but lying in bed felt impossible. Well meaning people would tell me I needed to get help and I was thinking “I can barely shower once a week. I cry when the dog brings me a tennis ball because playing fetch is the most insurmountable task I can think of right now. And you want me to look up a therapist that takes my insurance, call them, make an appointment, remember that appointment, go to that appointment, and TALK TO SOMEONE?! Are you nuts?!”
But: I survived. And you can get through this. This will not last forever, although I know it feels like it right now. Depression is an insidious disease; it will tell you all sorts of crazy things about how you’re a loser and worthless, that everyone hates you and you’re a burden. Watch out for that last one: once you start seeing yourself as a burden to others, it’s an emergency. Call a hotline, go to an emergency care center, whatever. Please just try to make it an hour (or a minute) at a time. You can survive this. Sending you a virtual hug and some cyber-dopamine.
I am so sorry you are going through such a hard experience. That must feel very horrible and helpless. I know you probably haven’t always felt that way and there are times people do make you feel good about yourself! I hope you’ll hold onto that hope that things are going to get better again. It’s hard right now, but you are so so strong and in-tune with your feelings to recognize being able to say that. And those are big feelings to have! Just know that even when you are feeling this way you still deserve comfort and compassion. I am sending you a virtual smile and hug (if you are okay with hugs). Please know that you deserve to be here and live even when it feels hopeless. People are so different (individual idiosyncrasies) so sometimes it is hard to communicate/understand someone else. But once you make a breakthrough it is such a satisfying feeling!! Keep practicing and it will get easier!
Hey i don’t know who you are, but we are in the same boat, in law school… Did everything i was suppose to do but I can’t make friends. I don’t talk to my family, i feel so lonely. I work jobs so i can afford everything and get a successful life, but at the end, i feel incredibly alone and in hope that someone will want to know me or contact me and change my life around.. I cry painfully every night, but I know that one day i’ll find someone that will feel just like home, I don’t know how, but it’ll be worth it….
please stay with us,
if you need to talk, please reach out. i feel the same exact way right now. april 3. 2021. i found out my dad took his own life. that pain will never compare to the pain i feel whenever i want to do the same. knowing everything that follows. knowing it’s such a shitty situation. and i can’t even talk about it.
So you hate everything going on in your life and can’t breathe when you go out. You can’t communicate with people and have poor social skills. Can’t afford therapy. Just want to be a deaf mute. Sounds like shit sucks and you’re stuck, I’m sorry to hear that. That sounds like a lot of things to fix. Of all the shit that’s wrong, what’s the one thing you most wish would get better?
I hear you. I’m hearing that you’re carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders and you’re frustrated. You’re fighting a war and it’s hard to express it to everyone. If it helps, know that the most important and ONLY responsibility that you have in this moment is to simply be here. Everything else is secondary, so breathe and take it a moment at a time, then a day at a time. For people like us, that is sometimes harder than climbing a mountain. You got this.
I feel you bro
Did you try onlyfans ? Since its that or dying.
You’re only 24, I hated my life at that age. I’m 30 and my life is improving…
Get out of colleges if you feel thats what’s upsetting you.
I hated my life when I was on college.
Just working a day job willl help you feel better and at least appreciate wherever you are in life.