I (F18) went from being the confident loud one, to being really quiet and shy, and then back to loud and confident when I’m with friends.
The problem is that I’m now super aware of how loud I am, always laughing and talking when I’m having a good time. When I go home after social stuff, I realise how obnoxious I seem and get really embarrassed, but the next time I go out I act exactly the same, and the cycle continues. I worry that I annoy everyone I’m around. I have a pretty high pitched voice as well which definitely makes it worse lol.
A recent example is when I was with my friend and her university friends and I was by far the loudest and “biggest” personality there. I really shouldn’t have been since I had only met them a couple of times in the past.
Any tips on being more calm and quiet when I’m with people? I don’t want to go back to how I was when I wasn’t doing well mentally, but I don’t want to continue embarrassing myself in front of people.
1 comment
Be comfortable with silent moments, if you or other people need time to think, let it happen for as long as it needs to.
Take a couple seconds of breathing before jumping into what you are going to say.
Trust that other people are responsible for their own emotions. If someone is choosing to be around you, they like your company more than they dislike it. The best you can do is make yourself approachable when it comes to your friends bringing their honest complaints to you.
There’s no need to be ashamed of having a bright personality. But if you feel it’s overpowering other people, it won’t be solved by focusing on yourself more. You may need to focus on them and practice stronger active listening skills. A strong and loud personality can become an asset if you balance the give/take of your interactions.