Some guys are just boring and I guess I’m one of them. It doesn’t matter how much money I make or trips around the world I do or what extreme stuff I try or how good in shape I get. How much standup I watch and how many jokes I make that make people laugh or how much I listen to people when they tell me about their problems or how much karma I get on this app. I still have a hard time connecting and keeping people’s attention. I think I’m a last resort for many people, which overflows into my dating life.
The weird thing is I like myself as I am, just wish I could meet more women outside of work to connect with.
29 comments
We’re all boring.
no one is really that interesting. especially all the time. keep your head up.
Either you’re boring or unattractive.
Are you at all funny? Every one is boring but sometimes if you’re funny or hear an interesting story on the radio, you’ll be interesting. Just depends on what you bring to a conversation.
Where did you got the idea, that you are boring? I mean, who is fighting Tigers every day or jumping from mountain clifs on a daily basis? I for sure dont. Did a woman actualy told you, that you are boring?
I think you just have to find a mature woman. I’d love a boring guy. A guy to go to the park with, watch a doc/movie, and just eat a good meal together. There’s a lot of people who just aren’t whole, so they seek constant excitement through their partner. I thought it was just men, but reading this forum, it’s on both sides. Find someone who wants a partner, not a fantasy.
You’re certainly annoying.
There are literally scores of stories of the best made product being forgotten to history, while a shitty one dominated the market. There was nothing special about the shitty product, except the person who marketed it was relentless and put him/herself in front of the right people with the right pitch. Boring, uninteresting people have romance and love, that’s not it. Being super dazzling, funny and cool doesn’t mean anyone’s going to love you, either.
You failing is more about your choices/attitude than who and what you are. When you realize that, and understand that attraction is built upon two huge pillars for men: Having something to offer and being in the path of the right person, you might start to change things little by little to cultivate a life that women want to be involved in, and not hanging your self-worth on the attention that any one woman gives you. If I had to guess, you’re coming across as needy/desperate in spite of yourself or over-investing in an individual date/woman and this is crippling you, along with not taking an active role in meeting people where they’re most likely to be interested in you as a person.
Good for you. Things are tough all over, but believe me, there are plenty of boring girls out there. I don’t have any great advice for you on how to find them, but if you want to be more proactive about finding them, then just do it. It’s better than doing nothing. It may just come down to luck of the draw.
29 M here
this one hits a little close to home for me; I’m going to react to this as an overall piece, instead of responding to a lot of individual things w/in too.
I’m a fairly boring & mild person. I have a theory that being boring inside & out affects the attention I receive from women moreso than me being a 5, 6, 7… whatever number I am.
The way you talk about yourself is fairly different than me, but being boring does seem to be something we share in common- so perhaps it is sort of a death knell of sorts for a dating life…
I always thought it was weird that so much of a life w/ your partner is domestic life… I feel like I got that Down and I’m good company, but none of that translates to someone being attracted to me in the first place; and even people I match w/ very often end up ghosting… I’m not That boring… and I always text back, so it always seems like it is Not my fault but at the same time, nothing I can do to avoid it… Other than being a different person, which I’m against ethically… but here I am- all my ethics… and alone.
Hopefully things start turning your way bud; stay strong.
I’m boring too. I’m also autistic, so it’s a double-whammy for me.
I can find myself in this. I’ve been told by many women that my convo skills are plain and boring, that I’m a nice guy.
.To me, my life is not boring, I love it, which matters the most, but damn, can I get laid already?
Many women see me as a boring dude, while my friends and collegues can attract women based on their appearance, eye contact, or just by standing still. I get a lot of questions ‘why are you still single’, and I think to myself ‘because I am one boring bastard’. The nice guy shit needs to go, or my dating future wont exist.
I comfort myself by thinking I am good enough for anything, and Im just unlucky (dating, sex life). Better times will come.
Stay boring my dude.
at least you don’t date people from work, that’s a good start
You are taking trips around the world, doing extreme stuff, watching standup, telling jokes, and making people laugh. You sound like an interesting person to me. Why do you think you have a hard time connecting and keeping people’s attention? In what way are you boring?
>just wish I could meet more women outside of work to connect with.
Well, why don’t you, then?
If you had an excellent excuse to approach them, would that make it easier for you?
To someone that’s lived all her life with inconsistency and drama, You’d be surprised how attractive “boring” is.
My ex was the most conventionally boring person one could think of. Went to work at a certain time, ate a certain time, didn’t travel a lot; by the end I could predict everything from what he was going to say, what he was probably doing at a given point of the day. (I’m the complete opposite, I have no routine, and am pretty unpredictable on most days)
But the conversation was never boring. He told me random facts about history, I told him random facts about language. We had the most fun debates about the most random shit in history, we made the most obscure references, we had the weirdest inside jokes.
If it works, it works. You’ll get there.
You’re trying too hard
Something I learnt a long time ago… You are whatever you say you are… And nobody can ever persuade you otherwise
I started believing I am a fun positive confident guy about 20 years ago… Guess what happened? 👌
If you feel overburdened with carrying the conversations, the people you’re with are the boring ones.
All of that means nothing if you can’t be vulnerable and open with someone. Drop any act you’re doing and be yourself. People want to feel like they have connected with another human being having a human experience. Try more of that maybe. (Not that you aren’t! It’s just absent from your post)
Stop caring, find hobbies, passions, join clubs, learn to cook, make friends just to be friends. Stop pitying yourself and just do you for you.
You don’t sounds any less interesting than most dudes I’m friends with; maybe the issue is you’re trying to connect with women you don’t have much in common with?
Have you been flirting and trying to turn the conversation sexual at some point, or just keeping it mundane all the time?
Well people are only boring because they can’t engage and create connection by good conversations.
Improve the way you communicate, watch videos, read books, have opinions about stuff and show interest in stuff you like that’s a great way to start. Educate yourself, I’ll give you some stuff you should learn: philosophy, psychology, physics, biology, politics and geography. All great for engaging conversations.
Show interest by bring up stuff they say to you, listening is important but nobody what’s someone that’s a wall lol that’s boring we want someone who can talk with us and agree or disagree.
Ask for her opinions that always makes her feel valued and it will always engage people in the convo.
Be relaxed, good amount of eye contact but not freaky long, relaxed body language and good posture. Smile and be open.
Dress well and make sure your first impression is great like a happy jolly guy who radiates good vibes, people always remember your first impression of you when they think of you so maybe your first impression game kinda sucks. Hope it helps.
Hi 👋fellow INTJ…?
I’m a published writer, video editor, endurance runner, semi-prof chef, artist, play two instruments, cyclist, gym rat, landscape photographer, carpenter, business owner and day trader. I’m boring according to everyone I’ve matched with on Tinder. 🤷🏼♂️
I’m sure you’re a great person, but all the things you listed are superficial things.
What do you have to offer the relationship? What is your emotional intelligence like? Are you working through your trauma and baggage? What are your values? What kind of character do you have? What is your ambition for the future? How do you lift the people around you up? How do you take care of your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health?
Those things are more important to me than how many stamps a man has on his passport, how much money he has, how many friends he has, or how lean he is.
You can do all that stuff and still come across as boring if all you talk about is yourself.
No one wants to hear how much money you make. Stories about trips and trying extreme stuff can be interesting to hear – in moderation. If you’re making jokes based heavily on standup, or waiting for the right opportunity to make a joke, it’s going to come across as inauthentic.
Definitely don’t use Reddit karma as an indication of how interesting you are.
An interesting person is someone who takes an interest in the other person they’re with. The conversation should be equal – they don’t just want to hear stories about the stuff about you that you believe is interesting. Be open and honest with them, be curious about their lives and their interests, and if they’re a good fit for you they’ll be curious in return.
Firstly a Fucking typical “Iam this” “Iam that” Stop associating yourself with the things you want to get away from.
Secondly make friends with people who are good at socializing and girls adapt what they do