Marriage finances question

18 comments

1. We don’t have separate finances. There’s only “our finances”.

2. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. My wife and I keep separate accounts and both handle a portion of monthly expenses. Most couples seem to have a shared account, but I don’t think one way is preferable to the other. That said if you’re hiding massive debt or a massive fortune from your spouse then that’s probably an issue.

3. Every couple does this differently based on what works best for *them*.

4. Completely aware. Joint everything and access to it all. All purchases talked about.

5. Completely combined finances here. The only thing I do that isn’t 100% open is that I tend to hoard cash (a few hundred dollars, $1000 tops) for discretionary spending. I don’t hide it but I don’t flaunt it. I tend to build up a little stash over a year or two then blow it on something for myself – bought a new PC, paid for a weekend at the Great American Beer Festival in Denver with my cousin, etc. I don’t do anything inappropriate with it, I just like a heavy pocket now and then.

6. it is important to know

7. All of the above.

   Every couple is different. My wife and I have had joint finances since before we got engaged but were already living together. I have other friends with a three account system – his, hers, and a house account to pay bills out of. It’s what works for you.

   Personally, I believe there should at least be some level of openness between partners. You want to know if your partner is over-extending themselves, but you don’t need to know where every penny goes. You want to know if your partner is saving enough for big purchases and retirement, but don’t want to be controlling. It’s a balance and should be whatever system works for both of you. I also believe that both partners should be involved in any budget planning and knowing where joint money goes (i.e. mortgage, utilities, insurance, food/grocery, etc).

8. We are planning on having four accounts once we get officially married. 2 ‘fun money’ accounts that is separate from each other, a combined account for bills, and a combined savings.

9. we have done everything jointly for 18 years. but, i don’t believe that is necessarily ideal–not even for us and certainly not for everyone else. as others have said, it’s really up to the both of you to figure it out.

   that said, i would refer you to a quotation that “everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life.” i think the healthiest marriages are those where both parties can acknowledge that to be true about themselves and each other and provides a little room for each other to live out all 3 lives without fear or judgment.

10. We share everything. I do the budgeting and bills but the account, and investments are shared. Mortgage is under both names.

11. Even if you have separate accounts there should be transparency. For example in the US the spouse can be impacted by some financial decisions.

12. The concept of “the other’s finances” doesn’t resonate with me. We’re a household. We have household income and household expenses. There is no his finances snd her finances. There is only our finances.

13. We each have our own separate accounts, and one shared account for expenses and date nights. Works well for us

14. I let my partner decided because I was fine with either separate accounts with like 1 joint one or to have all joint accounts.

    He felt strongly about all joint accounts so that’s what we did. It works for us. I budget our money and pay the bills.

    We talk about it before there is a big purchase about to be made. It works for us.

15. We have separate checking accounts with the same bank and we both have visibility into each. Our savings and investments are joint.

16. Completely separate finances. I have higher net worth compared to her. All my finances are private. My premarital assets are mine. I also have stuff like gold coins hidden away. It is also the same for her. I don’t ask about her assets. She paid for them so she can keep them.

17. We each have our personal accounts and a joint “house” account. Although at any time either one can say “hey what’s your personal account looking like” and we will go over it no questions asked. No secrets here!

18. She asks, I tell.