How do you deal with the feeling you’ll never be able to offer anyone anything as a man?

20 comments

1. Therapist and possibly some medication if diagnosed – deppression is an ilness that disrupts chemistry of your brain. This may lead to “i am worthless”.

   If therapy does not help – a doctor is called psychiatrist and its exactly same doctor like any other.

2. Being a man is more than what society, the internet, hell really what anyone else can say it is about. Don’t subscribe to this idea of what “a man is” cause that’s toxic.

   What a real man is is someone who stands for what they believe in and is true to himself. Yeah it’s “manly” to be a buff dude who can split a log in one swing of an axe, but in my opinion it’s also manly for a guy to be comfortable enough to share his feelings with his homies or with a woman he cares about, to be there for his family or kids when they need him, to be a kind man and offer assistance if someone is in need, I’m just listing off examples there’s infinite scenarios of what a man can be.

   I don’t give a hoot if someone would ever call me less of a man for liking/acting in a non traditional toxic male way because at the end of the day I am confident in who I am and you should be too. You don’t have to be a warrior or provide some service to be a man, you just have to act like the type of man you would want to be treated as.

   Best of luck navigating the path

3. I dunno, start volunteering? If you feel you aren’t helping anyone you could… ya know… help some people?

4. First thing’s first; stop focusing on what you can offer someone else and focus on yourself. Spend time learning about yourself and you will start to see your greatest qualities. Nurture those and eventually you will be able to understand what it is you can offer to others. There’s only something like 16 personalities in the world. Your match is out there and you have a lot to give.

5. Sounds like you should talk to a therapist

6. I just focus on myself before focusing on someone else, so i make sure i have money and wont be living on the street

7. The internet, more specifically Reddit, is not a therapist.

8. There are lots things nearly all of us can offer that many people crave & need the most, like:
   respect
   companionship
   attention
   thoughtfulness
   emotional support
   devotion
   loyalty
   trustworthiness
   reliability
   affection
   encouragement
   …etc.
   If you feel you cannot offer these types of things, then perhaps consider pursuing some self-development goals, maybe with the help of some counseling/therapy from a qualified mental health professional.

9. At some point I started to do research and put things into numbers. This allowed me to look at myself from a different perspective. Emotions don’t tell the truth – numbers do.

10. I find heavy drinking helps.

11. I have a ton to offer anyone. I’m a good person, good values. I’m competent in a lot of areas. I run my own business and if a friend needs help I can find a job for them. I’m paying for 2 kids to go to college and I got 4 more to go. My SO has never needed a job outside of doing what she wants to do as in raise a family.

12. Annoyed to the fact that we are expected to offer just because im a man. But ok as i dont have to participate in something that shouldnt exist

13. When did you lose all of your limbs? How long have you been paralyzed from the neck down feeding from a straw? My quadriplegic patient says that he felt useless after his accident. He couldn’t even feed himself. But his community, his church, and his family helped him out, helped him get set up with the things he needed to have a life. Now he provides for 2 daughters and a son. You need to understand that there is a Darkness in this world that’s trying to keep you isolated. It wants to keep you alone, afraid, and helpless so you have no choice but to listen to the voices only it wants you to hear. You need to go outside, out into your community and you need to find your place in it, not apart from it. Without each other, we are doomed. With just those wicked voices spinning lies to us from our little rectangles of light, we will find no true comfort, no measure of a man. You have to get up, you have to go – don’t wait any longer.

14. *Google Caitlyn Jenner

15. You get to define what being a man means to you, not other people. Figure out what that means and then start on a path to become that. You’re not worthless, you simply have more worth to gain, and you can, and you absolutely will if you put your mind to it.

16. Start fixing your problems. You can only help others if you are stable yourself.

17. Why do you have to offer anything? Who told you that? Where is that written? Your job is to enjoy your life and go on some adventures and experience what you want to experience before you die. Everything else is made up stuff. Sure you can be all about what you have to offer. That’s one approach but it’s not the only one. My advice is to either chill, stop beating yourself up and just have fun doing what you like to do. Or commit to becoming more than you are now. And don’t give up until you get what you want. Both are viable ways of living.

18. I got used to it.

19. By being the kind of guy who provides value to other peoples lives, and having the same standard for people who I allow into my life. Learn skills, take your job seriously, stand by your word, take opportunities to help people who appreciate it.

20. Most people I know are a net drag and they expect to receive significantly more than they will provide. Just being a net positive in someone’s life places you among the most valuable they have. That’s not very hard to do… Just being above zero. Being available to take someome to the airport once… And never being a drag on them…. Places you above zero.