I’m 29/f living with my bf of 3 years 31/m. We coparent his 9yr old son, have a house together, and are planning to get engaged in a month at my family’s summer reunion.
Lately I have been questioning whether I want to go through with the engagement. He is an alcoholic and I’ve been supporting him through recovery since we met. He is a veteran and picked up a bad drinking problem in the military.
I have always been supportive and have been there through IT ALL. But I am not ok with his recent habit of drinking and driving. He has 3 prior DUIs. His most recent one landed him in court mandated rehab which Is done remotely since covid.
He doesn’t take it seriously. He sits at his desk and does the class usually with a glass of whiskey in his hand. The audacity blows my mind. Then when he goes out, he will drink way too much and proceed to drive home instead of Ubering.
Last night he went out for a weekend event where he stayed at a hotel. He lied to me about driving to the bars – I KNEW he drove so I asked him to send me the Uber receipts and of course he didn’t have any.
Im sick of his BS. When I think about my future with him in it I’m not happy anymore. His recklessness and need to drink & drive is disrespectful to me & his son.
I don’t know what to do about this anymore.
7 comments
It’s not your job to fix him. Leave him. Personally, I’d contact child services as well. From the sound of it, he doesn’t deserve the responsibility of having a child
Leave him.. your absence may save his life
Get rid of him. If I had a partner doing anything close to this, they would be out the door immediately.
He’s lying, he’s not being safe, he’s putting No effort into getting better.
Leave him, if not for yourself or his own sake, for the kid’s sake. He should not have a kid around that and could even get a child Killed if he drives with them in the car.
You know what to do. His drinking will get worse
This sounds like a nightmare. If you marry this guy, you will spend your life playing alcohol detective. Not only could this man kill himself drunk driving, but could kill someone else. Which means your ass gets sued along with him as his wife. The likelihood that this guy will either end up dead or in prison from this behavior are high. You can’t fix him, he can only fix himself. Run as fast as you can from this situation.
Dude let me just tell you that shit gets worse with age. Be careful. Alcohol is not cigarettes or even heroin. Its everywhere and a real disease.
I watch my cousins husband beat the shit out of her until finally he got drunk and crashed with them both in the car. Shes strung out now anyways but good lord. He sounds just like him. Started out the same way. Dont do it. run. Go meet a nice man, have a nice family, live a nice life. You dont owe anybody anything.
the more i think about this too. Violence and alcohol go hand in hand. You wait to long until youre stuck and cant leave, watch. One day he will get sick of you nagging him about it and just pop off on you. You will get stuck with that kid too. Single mom with someone elses kid. No disrespect to you truly but you can leave now while you are young and have a better life.