To start off, I’m very sacred and anxious around people and often I tend to tense up when people talk to me. A lot of people think I’m rude and stuck up because I don’t look them in the eye or give them proper responses even my family thinks of me this way.
I don’t know how a normal conversation works and what people usually talk about. I’ve watched a tonne of “how to talk 101” on yt and all of them give the same advice; “Ask how they are doing”, “What they do for fun”, “What their hobbies are”, “and be confident!” when I do follow through with the advice I usually get a look of “I want to get out of here this person is boring”. This completely shatters my self confidence and makes want to stop trying.
I don’t have any close family. I do have 2 close friends but one of them rarely wants to meet up and hang out and the other one moved away so I don’t see her as much. Since I’m moving out for college to another state soon, I was hoping for a fresh start and needed some advice on how to talk with strangers.
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Genuinely connect with those people in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests, goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what people say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.