I am 28m she is 22f. We’ve been together 3 months.
Today we were having coffee outside a cafe and a notification came up my girlfriend’s phone. I looked down thinking it was mine and glimpsed a notification saying “Somebody likes you” with what I’m 99% sure was the tinder logo – red with a flame. She picked it up and I can’t tell how she reacted because I looked away.
I have had this already once with her. Two months ago, different app – I confronted her about it, she apologised and said she had been meaning to delete that particular app.
What I saw today hurt me and it makes me want to end things with her. On the other hand I don’t want to sound paranoid or make a mistake.
Do people still receive that notification when they are no longer active on Tinder?
Tl;dr a tinder notification came up on my gf’s phone, does it mean she is active/cheating?
6 comments
You should definitely confront her. Maybe don’t assume it’s outright cheating but it could be a mistake/miscommunication/other reason. Only way to find out is to talk to her about it, hear her out, and decide if you accept that or not.
You absolutely should confront her, especially since you have already had this issue in the past. If she had “forgotten” to delete those kind of apps when your relationship was just starting out I can understand that- but when you had this issue and she said she would delete the app you saw at that time, I think a normal person would have gone through and gotten rid of all of those kinds of apps right then and there. This is definitely a big red flag!
Definitely bring it up. You should have right away. Don’t shy away from things that matter. But not freak out either. I would either wait until you see the notification again or confront her. Or even better yet, make a tinder yourself and see if you can find her (toxic)
im not sure how the tinder thing works about being active or not, but i would confront her about. Don’t make it seem like you’re super upset, just explain it in a calm way. Ex: “Hey, im sorry if im wrong but outside the cafe i saw what looked like a tinder notification. I’m not accusing you of you anything, but it would make me more comfortable if we could clear it up” also let her know that when you saw that it hurt you. if she tries to say something about you not trusting her, calmly say that you do but what you saw hurt you and just want to clear things up. your girlfriend should care for your feelings and try and avoid hurting you, so don’t think it’s a bad thing asking her about it. If it hurt you and is hurting you bring it up. If she somehow makes you seem like the bad guy then it doesn’t seem like she cares if she’s hurting you or not.
Dude Tinder screams at you to get you to open the app if youre not on it. Especially if it says “Somebody likes you” thats their standard bait notification. Every personals app does this but Tinder is the worst, Plenty of Fish second. I like ignored Tinder for 6 months and they were still sending me notifications until I deleted my account, blocked them on email, and uninstalled the app. Itll notify you that people liked you *even if you arent logged in*
Is this an exclusive relationship? Based on the fact that you already talked to her about another app, I assume it is. Is she not smart enough to understand when you ask to have one app removed, she meant that type? You can talk to her, but if she didn’t get that, then I am not sure it is worth further pursuing this girl.