In theory, there are “mandatory” spay laws where we are. But nobody really enforces them or polices, unless you have a ridiculous amount of puppies running around that it becomes a reportable nuisance.
Before we decided to get a dog for the family, I discussed what is going to be happening with the spay/neuter situation and hubby was totally against it. I suggested that we wait until we all agree and even suggested that maybe we shouldn’t get a dog if it causes such a rift, but he wanted it and popped by and picked up the dog before I could say anything. I was going to tell dog’s foster mom to have her spayed so that it is all done before we pick her up, but hubby jumped the gun so its too late for that.
Our daughter works for an animal shelter after school and we have tried everything to explain to him how it is part of responsible dog ownership. Nothing has worked. He has had multiple indoor pet dogs, male and female, throughout is life at the same time and none have been fixed. He says he’s had no unwanted puppies and no issues with his dogs and is completely against spaying our pup we got now. We’ve even had the vet sit down with him and tell him the health benefits of spay/neuter surgery. He disputes that, saying that of course reproductive cancers can’t happen because you just removed those organs and that he still will never support people who spay/neuter their dogs.
The dog is on his name, but it technically is for the kids and all of us.
EDIT: I’ve tried telling him what a hassle it will be if she isn’t spayed, but the thing is, he has way more experience with dogs than i do, so I don’t get taken seriously. I also tried telling him “its the law”, and he said he could just pay the higher license fee and get an intact breeder dog licence and still be within the law (ie. he’s saying that he’d just pay for the breeder license but not breed the dog).
UPDATE: I understand a lot of well meaning Redditors are telling me to just go ahead and take the dog in myself. Firstly, my husband works at home and would notice. But more importantly, I am afraid doing that would only harbour mistrust between us as a couple. I would hate it if someone jumped the gun and did something to my stuff without telling me just because they “knew better”. I can’t bring the dog home from the vet and not have my husband notice a cone on the dog’s head. And telling him “I made the decision, so its done now” is just going to cause a rift between us as a couple.
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Just get it done yourself when he’s at work. Its the family’s dog. He sounds like he’s one of those guys that would never have a vasectomy for himself on the principle that it makes him less masculine.
Take your dog to be spayed anyway. It *is* best for her and the overall pet population. Your husband is an idiot if he thinks he knows more than a vet and I call bullshit on having no problems with unaltered animals in his home all at once.
Make him change her “bitche’s britches” when she is in heat and bleeding. It may make him change his mind
That dog will end up pregnant. Then what? Stand up to your husband.
I think the bigger problem here is that he thinks he can just do whatever the fuck he wants and that your opinion is irrelevant.
I mean, what would you do if there was a medical treatment one of your kids needed and your husband refused to get it because he thought he knew better than a doctor?
If I were you, I would tell your husband that although you tried to make this decision together, it has now gotten to the point where the rest of the family’s vote is going to outweigh him. You’ve shown him the rational argument for spaying the dog and he keeps refusing based on his good luck with other animals in the past. Tell him it’s more cruel to let your dog go into heat every month and to run the risk of her getting cancer than it is to give her a one-time minor surgery.
Just put your foot down for the dog’s sake.
There’s a new study on cancer risks in intact females. It depends on their breed. It’s from NC State vet school.
Our dog isn’t spayed, but she’s a toy breed not high risk. I was more concerned about osteoporosis that’s common in dogs fixed too early.
I would have already had that dog spayed months ago. Just do it. It’s the law for a reason and your husband, is, sorry, but he’s an idiot.
Wow, this thread is crazy! I can’t speak to the relationship and your communication struggles with your husband, but: please do some more reading about spaying dogs.
Spaying later (or never) leads to healthier joints, and less obsesity, especially in larger dogs. It’s still surgery, and in female dogs invasive abdominal surgery, and that comes with risks. One of my friends’ had a dog go blind in one eye due to complications from the spay.
If he’s that passionate about no unnecessary surgery, he would be extremely hurt if you went behind his back. Definitely don’t.
Lastly, my friend has a 3 yr old intact female St. Bernard. She goes into heat like once a year. It’s really, really not actually a big deal. Unless your dog is a farm dog that you let have free run of a large property, WHILE she’s in heat, AND there are intact neighbor dogs, she’s not gonna get pregnant.
The idea of spaying/neutering all dogs, especially at such a young age, is rather archaic. If he’s willing to take on the responsibility for her health, cleanliness, happiness, and safety, maybe you should let this one slide. At least “do your own reading”, and I mean from a large variety of sources and not just a Facebook group full of conspiracy theorists.
I have three female dogs and they are not spayed. I had a dog die on me when I was a young girl and I mean young. She died because she was allergic to the anesthesia, it was the first time I saw my dad cried. Anyways I just put that little diaper on and go about my business. Fun fact you know how they say girls that are really good friends their periods will sync up. Guess what so do dogs. Lol
I’m sorry but per your update, your husband already “jumped the gun” and seems to think he “knows better” than you by making unanimous decisions for the family without coming to an agreement with you.
I would say that if anyone’s actions “cause a rift between [you] as a couple” it’s his.
EDIT: All this to say, you need to hold your husband to the same standards you seem to be holding yourself to! Whatever happens with the dog, take this as a lesson moving forward about how your husband treats you when he disagrees.
There are know health benefits to spaying-less aggression, mammary tumors, and pyometras are the main thing that come to my mind. But, depending on where you are, if that dog is in your husband’s name and his name only…..You could get in a lot of trouble for trying to get her spayed. We had a new client call my clinic to set up a dog for a spay surgery..no big deal, until she told me it was her husband’s dog, and he didn’t want it spayed. Nope. No way. Not touching that mess.
“I can’t bring the dog home from the vet and not have my husband notice a cone on the dog’s head. And telling him “I made the decision, so its done now” is just going to cause a rift between us as a couple.”
You mean like how he brought home a dog before you both agreed on it? Which has now caused the current rift
take him to the doctors and get him fixed instead.
just take the dog and do it yourself
Your husband sounds like a right idiot. This procedure is not just to stop the dog getting pregnant, it could also reduce the risk of disease and cancer.
Is there any chance you can convince him to speak to the vet about this procedure. Perhaps if he is given the opportunity to discuss his worries/concerns the vet may be able to talk him round?