I’m 22M and my gf of 6 months is 42F, almost twice my age. I really care about her and we’ve grown as a couple over the past few months. However she sometimes says I’m not as invested as she is, and it’s true because she always goes above and beyond for me. Sometimes I feel like this won’t work out in the long term because we’re at different stages in life (I’m going to college in about a year), and I don’t know if I should make a decision that would literally affect the rest of my life to try to keep a good thing going, at least for now. If I tell her I want to end things early, I feel like she’ll be devastated. I care way more about her feelings than my own and the thought of hurting her kills me. I feel like she wants some things that I can’t give her, attention-wise and financially. I wanna hang out with my friends more and go places, but I don’t because my relationship takes priority.
I guess what I’m saying is I don’t know if I should end this early even though it’ll hurt her. I feel like I’m the long term we’d want different things. Maybe it’s an age thing, maybe not. Help me out please
8 comments
She’s old enough to get broken up with. I’m not saying it won’t suck for both of you, but it’s not like this is her first breakup. I’m sure she’s equipped to handle it. If she’s a 40+ woman who can’t handle a breakup, you’ve got even more reason to end things.
You guys are at different stages in your life.
Breaking up is the best thing you can do at this point. It will hurt regardless. If you want get her a gift and apologize with some flowers saying she is really great but at this point in time you aren’t looking for a serious relationship.
The sooner the better as the longer you stay the worse it will be.
If it is cool- why is it an all or nothing proposition? Isn’t there a way to do both. If you use your words. Tell her the amount of time is excessive. 42 she can entertain herself sometimes too
She probably wants to settle down because of her age but you have just begun adulthood and are nowhere near that. Go live your young life, it only happens once
pain is inevitable in a breakup, put on your adult pants and do it
There’s is nothing wrong with telling her it’s not working out and breaking up.
If you even remotely want to stay you need better boundaries with her bc you should feel able to make time for your friends and other things outside your relationship—that thinking that you must only focus on your relationship and her is fcking unhealthy.
She is also with you for a reason and while you might not be financial where you might be at her age you have your own qualities that make you a worthwhile person to be with. You just need to accept you are different life stages rather than dwell on it and your differences.
You can’t control her reaction or her pain. But you also have your own needs and wants. You know this is the right thing.
You need to grow and experience your own life. Make that your priority.
Go ahead and end it.
You are dating your mother and you know it.