For context, we’re all 24/25 and have been dating for about 2.5 years. We both have always expressed an interest in moving abroad (we’re from Ireland), and were initially looking at going to America. Plans have changed over the last year or so with covid and the plans have now changed to us (me and him) possibly going to Australia with his friend group. I get on well with his friends (me and my bf currently live with 2 of them) but wouldn’t consider myself that close with the majority of them.
I’ve really been contemplating whether this would be a wise move for me. I feel like I would be sacrificing a lot more in terms of my support system as I’d be leaving behind all my own friends and family. My boyfriend would therefore be the only sort of support I would have over there. This worries me as if we get into any sort of argument or even if I just need to vent about him, I would have no one in Australia to do that to. I also don’t think that it’s a particularly healthy dynamic to have in a relationship where I would be putting so much of my emotional needs onto him. Any advice on the matter would be greatly appreciated (the move would happen in March/April of next year).
TLDR: do i move to Australia with my boyfriend of 2.5 years and his friend group that I’m not that close with, leaving behind my own friends and family?
4 comments
I’d suggest thinking about it like this: let’s remove bf and his friends from the equation and ask yourself would you move to Australia alone? Do you specifically want to move to Australia at this point of your life?
If you answer no to either one of the questions, then you shouldn’t move with them either. I think it just doesn’t work if someone moves far or makes some other massive change in their life just the sake of their SO, especially if they aren’t yet on very solid basis, such as live together, are married and have been together several years.
If you’d answer yes to my suggested questions, then absolutely go for it. Remember that your decision doesn’t have to be final, you can always come back. Do Irelanders need visa in Australia? If yes, apply for the one year working holiday visa, it’s the easy way and if you want to stay after the one year, just apply for permanent visa etc.
I’ve spent almost one year down there and it’s absolutely beautiful and fun country to explore. I went there alone and made bunch of friends on the way.
Just like the previous commenter said, I also advise you to move to Australia for yourself. If you’re 100% committed and convinced you are doing it for yourself, then go for it. If you’re only doing it for your boyfriend, or 50% for him and 50% for yourself, then don’t do it. You need to have a certain state of mind to adapt to a new country and new culture, and if you’re not 100% sure you want to do it, you will regret it.
Read up on “culture shock”, it is very helpful to have the information. Even if you know all the stages and their timelines, the effect of those stages will be just the same. And it’s true, it takes about a year to feel at home in the new country.
Life is short. See as much of the world as you can. Worst case you move back to Ireland later.
Australia is EXTREMELY difficult to move to and they absolutely despise immigrants in terms of social safety nets if things go wrong. If you were seriously considering it then backdooring it via NZ citizenship has often been seen as the easy way (you can live in Aus with NZ citizenship). NZ is mad expensive though and depending on your skills you might not even be allowed in to work.