Hey, so me(20 and my boyfriend(20 still live at our parents house, we don’t have much money right either. My friend offered me a room at her own house for *really* cheap, and I kinda wanted to do it so I said yes.
I tell my bf that and he asks why I don’t want to live with him. I tell him I’m not ready for that, I don’t know how to explain further, but he keeps persisting, replying “why”. He started yell at me for a while, he kept demanding why and saying i was unreasonable and needed to grow up and i dont know im not ready. I was so scared I was crying so hard. I don’t know what to do now. I want to move in with my friend but sheepishly in the moment, after an hour of him yelling at me, stranded by his house, I had no hopes of leaving on my own, I gave in I said okay fine. He told me to cancel my plans with my friend and look for a condo with him. I said fine. I felt like I couldn’t not. I’m scared, honestly, what do I do?
30 comments
You break up with him, because it’s not even about where you were going to live or why, it’s about his reaction to that. That was incredibly controlling and abusive, and it’s only going to get worse. Leave now
You need to get out of that relationship immediately.
Red flags everywhere. Rather than demanding and yelling at you, he should’ve sat down and had a discussion with you. He seems far too controlling and manipulative, not to mention you shouldn’t be feeling scared around your boyfriend. Contact your friend and ask to move in asap.
Leave him. Don’t you dare move in with him. He’s controlling and abusive. Once you feel scared around your bf that’s your sign to go.
Your boyfriend is just that, your boyfriend. He is not your husband and you are not tied to him. You do not have to explain your reasoning for your living situation to him. You do what makes YOU comfortable and happy. If he doesn’t support that, he is not the one for you. If you don’t want to do that, don’t look for condos with him.
This man is dangerous and you should not live with him. Tell your friends what happened with him and keep plans with her. I suggest ending the relationship. He didn’t even have a conversation, he just bullied and intimidated you into doing what he wanted. He is not a safe person.
Move in with your friend, break up with the boyfriend. He‘s disrespectful of your boundaries & makes you cry when you object to that. He isn‘t entitled to you living with him.
Please do not move in with this man.
1. He’s ignored your wishes and boundaries
2. He’s harassed you to get what he wants
3. He kept you stranded at his house
4. He yelled at you repeatedly
5. He scared you
If you already told your friend you’re backing out, contact them again and explain what happened with your bf. Ask them if they’re still willing to let you move in. Then break up with him, either in a public place or in a text/phone call (since he’s clearly dangerous, this wouldn’t be “too harsh”). And remember, you don’t need to give him a reason for the breakup.
Break up and move in with your friend!!
this is abusive behavior. RUN!!!! He’s manipulating you into something you don’t want to do, you are AFRAID of your partner, he may be isolating you from your friend, I’m sure there are other things he does that you didn’t include in the post that is abusive too.
Look if you are scared to break it off, just dont do it on your own or in person. Let him know and block him on everything. If he starts to get threatening then you report him and get a restraining order (hopefully it doesnt come to that) but whatever you do, DO NOT move in with him. Call your friend, tell them what happened. Let your family and friends know about his behaviour.
No one should bully you into leaving your friends and joining them.
No one.
Move in with your friend, where you feel ready and safe. Let your relationships evolve on their own time.
Your gone now so just text him it’s over, block him and move in with your friend. Do you really want to live with someone your scared of. Who at a disagreement would do this again.
Message him from your parents house saying you changed your mind, and also that you’re breaking up with him.
Don’t do it. You’re relatively young, don’t make yourself miserable like that.
You mentioned still living with your parents, is your relationship with them good?
If it is, I’d just stay with them for a while longer until you’re more financially stable.
You’re your own person and should be able to make your own decisions, if he doesn’t like them then he doesn’t need to be around.
Break up, he’s controlling AF and sounds like he was verbally abusing you which is wrong
Quite simple, break up with him and move in with your friend. This is also probably why you don’t want to live with him lmao
He is not allowed to yell at you. That is not OK.
No is a full sentence. I’m not ready is a perfectly good reason.
Move in with your friend. If he can’t handle it, that’s on him and you’re better off without him. He should just accept you’re not ready for that.
I always figured if someone really loves you they’ll accept your wants and your needs.
Girl you run, far far away
You need to find another boyfriend. You have the right to live with your girlfriend. If you’re not ready to live with your boyfriend, then he needs to respect your feelings.
RED FLAG
what your boyfriend did equates to false imprisonment and you should have contacted the police. tell your friend exactly what happened: your boyfriend found out, kept you at his place and wouldn’t let you leave and just yelled at you and bullied you into saying no. and don’t believe it when he gaslights you and says “you could have left any time”. he made you feel a certain way, don’t ignore that and dont listen when the person who wants you to let it go tells you to let it go.
what do you do? abuse thrives in the shadows, so put a bright ass spotlight on it and let that cockroach of a boyfriend run around. talk to your friend and future roommate and tell her everything. power in numbers, hell talk to your parents even. but you move in with that controlling scrub and its just you and him locked in a place together where he can make you cry and feel bad every night, with a few apologies here and there to keep the cycle going. think about it. now he’ll be able to pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do every. single. night. seem scary? it should.
they say if someone is trying to kidnap you, never get to that second location. you think he’s bad now? wait til you’re living with him. if you move in with him, that moment of being so scared that you cried so hard is going to happen many, many more nights.
and please don’t break up in person when you know hes gonna do the same shit, or even worse. this guy exploded on you about an apartment in the very first conversation. he’s dangerous and you need to take this seriously. this isn’t some little relationship discussion about flowers and sunshine here.
if your friend, or your mom, or anyone came to you and told you this story about their boyfriend. what would your reaction be? what would you tell them to do? think about if this post wasn’t about you, but someone else. what would you say?
Once you get home break up with him via text for your own safety. When you break up tell him that his behavior is unacceptable, that you don’t feel safe around him, and that you don’t want to ever speak with him again.
He just jumped into abuse. Tell your family and any trusted friends that he held you at his house against your will until you said you would do what he wanted. Make it clear that you were scared and will never go anywhere with him or be alone with him again for your safety.
Nope. He is totally wrong and way too immature to be in this relationship. Say bye boi.
Yelling?
WTF!!!
Break up with him and move in with your friend.
That’s not a boyfriend, that’s an abuser.
He doesn’t love you. He loves controlling you.
He will break you down until you don’t recognize yourself, simply because he finds it easier to control and ‘keep’ you when you question every decision and start to believe you are worthless.
You are worthwhile. Find someone who sees that and respects the ‘no’.
No was enough.
Move in with your friend. End this abusive relationship.
He will threaten himself and do everything to guilt you in to staying—that’s more manipulation—ignore it.
You are not responsible for his feelings or his happiness. We are each responsible for our own.
Good luck to you.
You’re scared because you know this isn’t right. Please do not move in with this controlling man, you deserve so much better.
You have to stand your ground. In that situation that was a very toxic, dominating move on his part.
If he really felt moved enough to live with you he would’ve calmly discussed the pros and cons to you instead of yelling…you’re not a child so don’t give anyone the authority to feel like they have power over you.