Can you pinpoint the exact moment you acquired one of your fetishes?

5 comments

1. Yes. Someone called me a good girl and all of the sudden I have a praise kink.

2. when i was 21 (im in my 40s now) I had a FWB with a older (she was in her 40s then) lady. We lived really close to eachother, and worked together. I get really flirty when I’ve been drinking. One night she took me up on my intoxicated flirting when we went for drinks after work

   Before her, I went for thin chicks with perky boobs. She was heavy. I remember her taking off her top and telling me to lower my expectations. Her bra came off and her boobs sprang free, swaying near her belly button and a switch clicked. I stopped liking perky boobs right then and there.

   We’d watch porn videos together. Because I knew she was very self conscious I’d pick BBW videos and she’d pick DP/Gangbang videos. I asked why she liked those and she said that the idea that two men wanted her enough to be ok with another man being there, was super hot.

   She asked me to DP / DVP her with toys. At first it was kinda shocking. But very quickly it became VERY hot.

   I’d have gone for me+another man DPing her, but she wasn’t confident for that, so we did alot of me+toy DP.

   After her, I’d say me+toy DP/DVP is something I’ve suggested/tried with just about everyone Ive been with.

3. Yeah. My first sexual girlfriend “B” was a lunatic. (I basically didn’t have parents growing up) and wasnt capable of identifying emotionally healthy women, or pursuing them either. Zero self esteem destroyed more than I’m comfortable with now at middle age.

   B was sexy. And at 21, without any experience with nice, loving women, I couldn’t see how no good she was.

   So we had sex. I loved it. I was in love with her. She may never love anyone. I found out that she was a 19 year old virgin when we had sex. She lied to me and had said she had boyfriends before. I found this out much later.

   It was impossible to maintain a relationship with her. She was actively hostile. Against my friends. Anywhere we went, she’d get into a fight with someone. The bartender. She misinterpreted behavior often. Pathology. So we broke up like 4 times in the 9 months we were a couple and actively sexual.

   Instead of the “essential experience” I believe we all really need early in life, where we feel safe and discover sex is awesome, and “something I’m good at, and have pleasure to offer someone…” I learned other things.

   Only in hindsight do I realize she wasn’t capable of enjoying sex. Only the power it made her feel. I would melt as soon as I was inside her. She never offered me tenderness, love, her pleasure. And I was too young to know I was playing with fire.

   She was discovering sex as a source of power, strength, not avenue of joy and intimacy. So we’d break up. She’d hook up with someone. And we’d end up getting back together again because I wasnt healthy enough to know run! Or pursue healthy women.

   Every time we got back together she’d be freakier. We started having sex in public places. Abandoned construction sites. She even decided to give me a handjob at a NYC club on an off night, in front of other people. Shielding their direct view, but, I could see their shadows walking up. Watching.

   I cannot believe this was my introduction to sexuality.

   We’d break up. Get together and then I made the mistake of asking, “did you… Get with anyone?”
   “I didn’t have sex…” There was a pause.
   “But… You blew someone?”
   Silence.
   My understanding of “woman” had been destroyed by my biological and step hoodlum. (No healthy woman would date my father. They’d see him as emotionless, and bizarre.) So it is natural that the women in his life would be unhealthy.

   Without important, meaningful definitions as woman as loving, protective, affectionate, trustworthy, smart, patient, understanding… My only definition was… As a sexual narcotic. I’d been masturbating to porn 9 years by then. Watching women in lingerie blow their bosses. Blow jobs. Blow jobs. Blow jobs.

   Without emotional health and a history of hypersexuality through porn and masturbation… I took the bait. “I’m so fucking hard right now,” I told B and looking back, this was probably a new one for her. I asked her to tell me about it. Of course she and her two girlfriends had hooked up with three guys and they all got on their knees and let the guys rotate through their mouths. Dopamine.

   I came fast and hard, and had discovered something I didn’t understand, or was completely comfortable with. Having no relationship with my father, I found myself taking to my boss after this. Young guy himself. And he said, “we all fantasize about our girlfriend with other guys.”

   I didn’t know we did. I believe it is different for different people. But for me. That kink/fetish stems from pain, emptiness, and addiction, so it’s not something I want to water, feed, grow.

   My path remains healing. And discovering woman as much more than Dopamine Blaster. Amen.

4. I was watching Chappelle Show and they did this skit about this white ass happy couple having to live with a couple of black gangsta type. During the skit the black guys kicked the whites guy out of his room, he thought his girlfriend would come with him, but she stayed and ended up having six with the black guys while her boyfriend masturbated in the corner.

   I was in my late teens and I felt a feeling I had never felt before, and that was the start of my cuckold fetish.

5. I had an ex, we were rough housing at the end of the night. Which was leading to more things. As he was undressing I was laying on the floor, ass up, as a joke he took of his belt and lightly smacked my ass with it. I was instantly turned on instead of off.

   When we broke up. I was curious. I met my now husband and he told me he was into BDSM. I kinda played it off. Butttttt he (like many other natural dominant males. I could never figure out how so many Dominant people where drawn to me) figured it out quickly that I’m actually pretty submissive. Bratty yes, but definitely submissive. Even if I never went down that rabbit hole. But he worked hard to gain my trust, and now he can do pretty much whatever he wants as long as it’s within my limits and pain tolerance. Which now includes floggers, paddles, ropes, clamps and my custom built bench and Cross. 🙂