For context, we have been dating for a month.
He has seen me naked. He has touched me very sexually. However, I have never seen him below the belt. He refuses to take off anything more than his shirt. If I get anywhere near under his jeans he pushes my hand away. For example, he lets me touch him over the top of his jeans and I’ve made him cum, but today I tried hooking my fingers into his boxers and he pulled my hand away. And only wanted please me, not letting me please him. Is this normal? Am I being dramatic?
13 comments
People have boundaries. If this bothers you and you want more that’s valid but don’t cross lines your partner isn’t comfortable with
I’m speculating here but he might be insecure about his penis size and doesn’t want to disappoint you.
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Edit: If that IS the case, then he likely focuses on you so much right now trying to convince you he is a great lover to the point that you’ll no longer care about his size.
Something you can do to counteract this, if you suspect this might indeed be the issue is tell him maybe about an ex partner that was too large and it made you hurt (true or not), tell him that he’s such an amazing sex partner and makes you cum better than anybody before (basically reassuring him that he doesn’t need a great penis to be able to satisfy you).
Seeing how he doesn’t even want your hand in there makes me think this might indeed be the issue… he doesn’t want you to find out about his size, either by seeing or feeling it.
Talk to him about it. Ask him if he is uncomfortable with it. If he refuses to talk about it, then you need to either give him space and time or go your own way. Not everyone is compatible with eachother.
I wouldn’t say it is normal but all you can do is ask him the reason. All we can do is guess. My guesses are either penis insecurity (size, appearance, cut/uncut, etc) or he is religious and doesn’t want to lose what he considers to be viginity.
Perhaps childhood trauma.
He’s insecure about his dick.
I had a girlfriend like this just out of highschool. Her parents weren’t super religious, and she was super physical, she just wouldn’t let me see her down there. I could touch, and she could touch me, just didn’t want to see me, or be seen by me. We were only together for 3 months or so, because she went away to school and we grew apart, but I never did get an answer as to why. She said that it wasn’t abuse or anything, she was just kinda scared of seeing dicks, and scared to let me see her or go down on her. Sure did love to make out though. I think eventually we would’ve gotten there, but I don’t know if I ever would’ve found out why things were this way for her. Not even sure she knew. But definitely talk to him. Try to sus it out, and let him know you’re there, and you’re willing to be patient (if you are). Humans are weird, and some need reassurance to get them to trust in love.
It’s not normal but might be normal for him. You said you’ve only been dating a month? If he’s not showing you his stuff he may have something down there he doesn’t want you to see. Std rash deformity small dick etc. Or he could have intimacy issues. Communicate ask him what’s going on. If he can’t be open and honest or legitimately intimate with you it may be time to walk before you get to involved
You better try to openly talk about it. A part of having a relationship is having good communication. That means that sometimes you need to have awkward conversations. My guess is either penis insecurity or childhood trauma. Eitherway talk it with him and try to be supportive and empatic about the situation.
He will regret that later in life
u have been together for a month,maybe let him get comfortable first and stop trying to touch him?ur more experienced so u should know better
Then don’t. That’s it.
I agree with the other comments, but there are also types of people who prefer giving pleasure rather than receiving, which can also stem from trauma or other reasons