For me, they place looks far up the ladder than many of them claim.

43 comments

  1. Women do place looks high up on the ladder. Its obvious on the dating apps or if you watch how they respond to a good looking guy in-person.

    Its a lot easier for a woman to get an infatuation for a hot guy she runs into then the meh looking guy she sees every day.

    That said if you have your shit together in life and are established and at least half decent looking you can still find one easily enough. There are obviously not enough extremely hot guys to go around for every single woman. Plus the really attractive guys tend to either get locked down quickly or just never settle down because they don’t need to. So women do eventually start to look at the whole package.

  2. All the platitudes are right.

    You don’t have to look for secret techniques and clever dating tricks.

    “Be yourself”, ” girls are just people like everyone else”, “just talk to them” etc. were right all along, and trying to see through this “naivety” and ‘hack the female brain’ made you both an ass and unsuccessful.

  3. Being yourself and being honest with what you want up front will get you way farther than trying to “be cool” or play mind games.

  6. That women have no business telling boys how to attract women.

    Learn that skill from men who are successful at it.

    Cuz listening to women just creates “nice guys” that women take advantage of. And be she 16 or 60 they never grow out of that bs game.

  7. They are just as much a human as i am. No need to put them on a pedestal. No need to play games and not be myself. No need to feel like i need to have a girlfriend to be accepted.

  8. That they enter the dating market with a naturally high value simply “for being” but that barring exceptional genetics and effort in their fitness/apperance their power in the sexual market place starts declining after early-mid 20’s and starts nose diving after 30.

  10. I wish I would have never tried. I wasted a lot of time chasing an unreachable goal.

  11. They really do like a dude who cooks. Something I did to save me money(college student gang) ended up getting me more female attention lol.

  13. They are not princesses and the vast majority of them can ruin your life

    And the same exact thing can also be said about men towards women

  14. That problem/shitty behaviour shouldn’t be excused/accepted just because they’re a woman.

    The amount of bad people I could have avoided if I just didn’t excuse the bullshit away.

  15. Overall advice is just to be you. Stop faking and trying to be the ‘nice’ guy (I cringe when I hear people say that now). No your actually helping no one by not telling her what you want to do to her. (Pause).

    Personal advice would be. She’s into it and you bro. Stop overthinking it and make your move and stop being a pussy.

    Of course that wouldn’t be advice to others. I can’t be held accountable for your actions. She might not be into it.

    I found that I needed a big sign to tell me she was into me and even then I wouldn’t pursue.

  16. I wish i knew just how fucked up the world can be for them. how the power dynamic men don’t even notice is constantly on the forefront of some women’s mind. How shitty comments from a friend toward women matter, and when you don’t say anything to stop it or brush it off because “he didn’t mean it”, the woman feels isolated.

    How to listen and communicate by shutting up more often than you are used to with other men. How to understand that things like birth control, rights and autonomy are everyone’s fight. That some things we as men won’t ever understand. If she says that something relating to her perspective as a woman is shit that you don’t understand, to just accept that it’s so even though it is a concept that you just don’t get and may never will.

    It’s easy to accept that someone is afraid of spiders or something even though you’re not. They tell you they’re afraid and you can plainly see that they are. You aren’t. What’s the big deal? He’s a tiny boi spooder and just wants to be frens. But the other person is terrified. Don’t belittle them for it, listen. Women are terrified of things we do as men and we may not realize we’re even doing the things they’re terrified of. Not because we personally did anything to those women, but they have a fear nevertheless and it doesn’t matter if it’s rational, it matters that it’s real. Whether it’s rational should not and mustn’t be the counterpoint. Accept their fear and empathize. It’s all about listening, not just hearing.

    I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to know. It’s because the things that were said were too different from what i knew to understand properly. They just weren’t part of my experience in life that they seemed unrelatable.

    When i was 20, there was a lot I just didn’t know. Dating i think would have been a better experience for me if i had accepted what i heard even though i couldn’t understand it.

    I’m not saying that women understand men for probably a lot of the same reasons – the life experiences are just different in significant ways, but if people listened more instead of trying to prove a point or be right, dating and relationships would have been a whole lot better for both parties.

  17. That 80 percent of the women that I was scared to death to ask out would have said yes.

  18. My mom gave me fucking terrible advice for dating when I was younger and now I resent her for it. In fact I’d say my parents have given me pretty awful life advice in general.

    If I could go back in time and tell my younger self stuff I’d tell myself “trust your instincts and what you observe more and for the love of god ignore what your parents say.”

  20. I wish I knew earlier that women are overrated and dating men is where it is at

  22. That they aren’t these perfect princesses whose affection I have to earn, rather they’re no better than I am.

    Also to NEVER listen to what a women says she wants. Had to learn the hard way that women will often say what they think they’re supposed to say rather than the truth.

  23. What a powerful combo being a good conversationalist, relaxed body-language that comes from real confidence and truly secure enough to not care about the outcome can be.

    If I could go back in time to my younger self, I would tell him to find the thing he was most insecure about and work on that for self confidence. Then I would tell him to dig into emotional intelligence to really face his inner demons. Journal, therapy, consume books/podcasts on the subject. Finally, I would tell him to practice asking people good questions and being properly curious about trying to understand what it’s like to be them.

    I would have more dates than time. Although maybe that would have been great for my career…

  24. My exs all said they don’t care about looks than i’d send them a photo and they suddenly cared about looks it turns out i’m a fucking magician.

    Don’t date until you get your life in order or it might just fall apart because your time is been devided by what it should be on and women.

    In short finish school, college and uni first than waste your time trying to please every potential partner you meet.

    For those lucky few who meet “the one” what drugs are you on?

  25. So I have a hot take. People always talk about women being attracted to “confidence.” Not quite right. Women are attracted to *ability*. I’m going to sub the word “strength” for ability because it’ll make more sense.

    Women want men who are strong. Lucky for us, there are a lot of different areas to be strong. You can be strong socially/conversationally. Classic virtues like dedication, fortitude, & generosity are awesome areas to be strong. You can be profe$$ionally strong. Obviously being physically strong never hurts anything either. If you’re weak in one area you can generally make up for it in another area. That’s why awkward smart dudes can still get women. They cumulatively make up for their weaknesses with strength in other places.

    Now there are a couple things to note: Some woman might have strengths that are critically important to them, like strength of religious faith, or strength in intellect. Some (most) women (and men) aren’t very good at recognizing what strengths they’re looking for or are good for them. Immature girls might over-prioritize physical strength. Some women may confuse strength and abuse. If a woman isn’t finding your strength attractive you can either
    A. get stronger in that area or
    B. find another woman who values your strengths.

    Now to circle back around, the confidence that everyone talks about is a BYPRODUCT of strength & capability, not something you focus on directly. People will see right through someone who is confident but is faking strength. Focus on being strong yourself, focus on having decent enough conversational skills, and ignore everything you hear in a locker room.

  26. Don’t put up with them guilting you and remember to be yourself still, don’t change yourself for anyone

    Edit: also everything about periods and their lady bits holy shit

  27. I wish I had learned that I’m not a “solution” or a key to making their life better. That I wasn’t a key to their true happiness, whatever that means. I wish I had known that just because I told her that I loved her didn’t obligate her to love me back. I still struggle with that.

  28. That they can apparently read your mind 😑

    (I don’t remember meeting one girl that was super healthy or takes responsibility for themselves yet)

  29. Not that I needed much advice with dating because I’ve been very successful. But there is an observation I couldn’t have known at the time when I was younger.

    I’ll get downvoted for what I’m about to say but fuck it.

    A lot of women rely on their youth for their attractiveness, as opposed to being actually attractive. Many women who were cute when they were 20, are average by 30, and unattractive by 40. Weight, aging skin, a pregnancy or two, can drastically alter looks. Age works for them when they are young, but works against them when they are old.

    This changes the dating landscape as you age because women have to settle because their looks no longer open any door.

    I can’t lie, there is one ex of my mine who I very much loved who I’m happy I didn’t end up with because she ended up extremely unattractive. She was cute when she was young, but the opposite as she aged.

    I know that’s an assholeish thing to say. But it’s the reality of aging.

  30. Find an arena where you’re the star of the show, meet women there. Most women are going to be attracted to the top dog in whatever environment they’re in, so you need to set yourself up for success in that way. The coolest guy in the marching band gets his pick of the women in the marching band, the 20th guy on the football team likely gets no one.

  31. Are you seriously surprised that a fellow human being considers their sexual attraction toward a potential mate….?

    Most of what is written on this thread is basically “I should have realized women were humans and not magical/ complicated creatures”

  33. Do not worship them, respect them obviously, but don’t stretch yourself thin trying to understand.

  34. Women seem to respond more positively if you are just honest and not clever or sneaky. “Hey, I’m really enjoying your company, would you like to get coffee sometime?” I watched Way too many RomComs as a kid and was forever trying to “setup” a situation where she would fall for me.

  36. Don’t chase, attract is what I’ve figured out, when I was wanting to sleep with women and chase all the time it was pretty difficult and once in a blue moon,

    I started working on myself and practicing celibacy for personal growth and all of a sudden I had to turn down 3 women in 6 months,

    I know them numbers are low but compared to how things were going it was a major eye opener for me

  37. Most women want sex as much as, or more than most men.

    It takes a lot of desire to overcome fear of pregnancy.

  39. They are lying about not caring about looks. Start working out more. Lose weight now so it’s easier to keep off later. You are not a creep. Just unlucky with rejection. You haven’t done anything wrong.

  40. come up with your own definition of manhood/masculinity and stick to it. dont believe some random woman who tells you what a “real man” would do. theyre just trying to shame you into doing what they want

  41. Two things:

    * Women enjoy sex just as much as men do. They don’t need to be “tricked” into having sex, nor do they give it out as a “reward” or an obligation.
    * Women shouldn’t get free passes for bad behaviour, walking all over you, etc. just because they’re women.

  42. They are not the damsels in distress that the movies fed me growing up. They are human like all of us. What matters in a relationship is when we both work together and create some magic.

  43. that there are far far far more abusive garbage POS women in the world as society pretends to be, maybe even more than guys.

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