TL;Dr
Me (27f) and my boyfriend (32M) haven’t had a conversation in over 13 days. We been together for almost two years. We had a slight argument after he stood me up for a date.
The next day I ask him if he want to be in a relationship and after he keep asking me why I felt the way I did with out answers the question o told him because he doesn’t want to hang out he be busy on the weekend and his man focus is work.
He didn’t respond to my question or me after that he start the silent treatment and I’ve been trying to reach out but he keep blowing me off not ready my text telling me to give him a minute he’ll call back or just out right ignores me.
A mutual friend reach out to him and he told her everything ok with us and that his got a lot going on in his life right now. He also said I nag a bit and he can’t handle it because he has a lot going. He the first person I never been in a relationship before and I don’t know what to do. I even text him and ask him if we are still together and got no response.
I don’t know if we are broken up or he need space. It just been 13 days and he still active online he watches my stories when I post I’m so confuse.
13 comments
If he didn’t explicitly say I want to break up then no. Now if it goes on forever then assume so. But don’t ask if he wants to be with you showing insecurity and clingy behavior when he wants space for whatever reason will make stuff worse.
If you haven’t spoken in 2 weeks then you’re broken up in my opinion.
Honestly, some guys would do that so you would break up with them, because they are not brave enough to say it.
Can someone explain why he keep watch my stories and stuff if his ignoring me ? He has to know I see him watching them
Tbh it sounds like he isn’t sure what he wants and is having a problem making that decision between staying with you or breaking things off. That’s probably why he’s watching your stories. Maybe he misses you, but doesn’t know what to do. Sorry, I know that’s probably not super helpful at all either, but just my insight.
So you were mad at him for standing u up and his solution was to stand u up. I don’t think that’s very good of him, there’s lots of other guys that may treat u better. This is not normal behavior.
If I were you, it sounds like he wants to break up so u should do it first. It’ll feel better and then he will regret his actions. You should just break up with him and don’t reply if he only then decides to reach out. He missed his chance and you should try to reach out to other people.
He stood you up and is now ghosting you and you still care? Why?!?!
Girl like do you even want a boy like that? Do you like being treated like sht or something?
Like have some self respect.
In this situation, giving you the silent treatment is either
A. very immature,
B. an red flag of narcissistic behavior, or
C. both
If he wants space, he should communicate that to you… It’s not fair for him to have access to you ONLY when he wants (looking at your stories and not replying after seeing messages).
If his m-o is to leave you confused/in the dark, perhaps the real question is: What do YOU find acceptable for a relationship?
IMO being stood up, not taking accountability, and ignoring a partner aren’t qualities that scream relationship-material.
Overall, nobody should feel ghosted in a relationship. I say don’t wait for him to confirm if your broke up or still together- make that decision yourself, girl.
If this behavior is not something you want to deal with months/years down the road, then cut your ties and move on.
Best of luck OP.
You’re “broken up.” He just won’t admit it, for some reason.
There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON for him to act the way he has, if the two of you are really in a relationship to which he is committed.
He might have another girl, and just be holding on to you in case things don’t work out with the other person. No matter what it really is, it’s rude and selfish, and you don’t deserve to be treated that way.
Stop reaching out to him, and see if he even notices you are alive.
If he doesn’t… there’s your answer.
No answer, is an answer. I’m sorry to say, but it sounds like your relationship is over. He’s just too much of a coward to tell you. So instead of acting like an adult and communicating with you, he’s playing mind games with you, which is manipulative. It’s also mentally and emotionally abusive. He doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t care about you and he doesn’t love you.
The only time you should be reaching out to him, is to tell him that the relationship is officially over. Then block him on everything. There are better guys out there, someone will come along and treat you right. Don’t set yourself on fire, just to keep him warm. You deserve better.
It’s over. This guy is not mature enough for a serious relationship and he’s taking the cowards way out.
I wouldn’t even waste the effort of a breakup text, just move on with your life. Treating someone like that is unacceptable, he not worth any more energy. Go do the things you enjoy, spend time with friends, focus on your work and hobbies.
The longer you’re with the wrong person, the less time you have with the right one
32??? This is exactly how my sister’s 17 year old ex-boyfriend ended their relationship.