Am I going to end up with shallow empty friendships and feel lonely forever?

I so scared right now. I’m 20 years old and I’ll be 21 soon and I worry that I’m going to live my whole life empty and alone. I have never had a close best friend. All my past friends were aquaintences and I feel like I always just put on a mask to seem like a perfect little girl to avoid judgement ever I talked to them. I was bullied throughout elementary school so I worry if I missed the chance to learn to make deep friendships in my formative years.

I just finished reading an article of a woman worried that she’ll never make any deep friendships in her life and it felt exactly like my experience. She was Arab with parents that would never let her grow and spend time with people and she wanted a deeper connection with any friends she’d make. And it is exactly like me. She talked about how she’s middle aged and knew that any friends she made had their own people. I worry that decades later, I’m going to be completely alone with no chances to make any deep friendships with real connections. I worry that I’ll miss the years where I could make friends by suffering through life’s struggles together. This is even worse when I think about quitting college. I’m thinking about starting my own freelance art career and if I quit college then what am I supposed to do. I live in Nebraska and it’s so hard to find places to make friends. There’s so few Arabs. And even if I did find a place I’d just feel like we wouldn’t make that deep connection I’m looking for.
I worry that I might not even know what a deep friendship would look like. I’ve dreamed of having close friends that would stick with me my whole life and I don’t know if I’m ever going to get that. Then I worry that if I don’t even know what friendship is supposed to feel like, how would I know how love works. How would I find someone love and marry and grow old with if I can’t even make a friend.

I’m so concerned. And I’m even more concerned that I’m going to be alone when my family disowns me. I’m am atheist, I’m possibly bisexual, and I don’t like what my parents stand for. I don’t like that I can’t even come to them with my fears or worries or dreams. I want friends that feel like my own family. A family that cares about the real me. I feel like im broken. I feel like my parents broke me. I don’t know what to do. Someone help.