I (28F) am seeing this guy (32M). We aren’t exclusive but talk everyday and hang out on weekends because of our work schedules. We have been seeing each other for 3 months. It’s his birthday soon and I got him clothes, shoes, cologne, face wash and toner, and golf balls. I’m taking him out for dinner and already bought him a golf club. I already wrapped up everything with his birthday card all ready. I’m worried that he might think I do this generously for all men and I’m worried he might just think I’m too giving too early on. What should I do? Should I just not give him all the presents or just do it because this says more about who I am.
13 comments
I personally would never spend so much money on someone that I’ve only been dating for 3 months.. especially if they haven’t taken me off the market yet. Thats just me tho.
Because you’re not exclusive, I think it’s too much. Pick one of the gifts only.
You’ll feel really stupid when you see him with another woman….
It’s sweet, but it’s too much. Pick one or two gifts (that’s including dinner out) and save the rest for the next gift occasion with him (and that’s assuming there is one).
Def over doing it
It is too much. I do think you mean well, but if that level of gift-giving happened to me, it would absolutely overwhelm me and definitely be a red flag.
As long as you know it’s time to stop when he tells you his enemies are after him and you need to start taking credit cards out in your name 🤣
That is about 5x what you should give him for his birthday after three months.
Give him the cologne and the golf balls and send everything else back.
Golf clubs are a personal purchase, and he may not like what you bought him
Take him to dinner as well, but that is it.
If he has been paying for all the dates, you can if you want to
Sweet but too much. Pick one or two things and save the others for future gifts or return them. One gift or a few smaller ones, a nice card, and dinner on you, when you are exclusive is fair. Since you broke off the exclusivity last time, it’s on you to reestablish it if you want it.
Sit him down and have an honest conversation about the past of the relationship, the mistakes made, where you are, what you are looking for, and where you think the relationship should be. Listen to him on these points as well. Remember, you don’t need to match exactly, but you need to be on compatible paths. You broke it off last time, so don’t be surprised if he isn’t as invested in this yet as you are. He might be trying to emotionally insulate himself due to this. What you need is for the two of you to see it heading in the same direction, in a similar timeline.
I agree, is too much too soon, but you are so kind! Chose one gift and save the others for later 😅
Depends on why you’re doing it. If you’re doing it to try and woo them or buy their affection you *will* fail. If gift giving is one of your love languages it’s cool especially if it’s one of his, but I’d space it out or tone it down a bit. I’ve been burned on both but sometimes they do enjoy it while not taking you for granted. Just be careful.
You’re 28 years old. Communicate with the guy. Sounds like you’d like to be exclusive instead of FWB, and that gift giving is one of the ways you express love and affection. Want a healthy relationship? COMMUNICATE. 🙂 But seriously, it sounds like your anxiety got the better of you for a possible rushed relationship and you backed off, but remind yourself you only get one life to live, so why have regrets? If you’d like to put a label on it instead of FWB, talk to the man. If he doesn’t feel the same, keep playing the field yourself and avoid the love bombing. If you two were in an exclusive relationship that was about a year old, the multiple gifts would be cool so just tone it down some. You also could gauge what he does for your birthday or other event you’d get a gift from him.